


Devil Incarnates

by sultal



Category: Disney Animated Fandoms, Disney/Non Disney, Peter Pan (1953), The Little Mermaid (1989), Treasure Planet (2002)
Genre: Disney crossover, F/M, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Heavenly Virtues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:24:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sultal/pseuds/sultal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disney and Nondisney characters separated into saints and sinners (via 7 Deadly Sins and & 7 Heavenly Virtues). Jim Hawkins (a child of Greed), kidnaps a girl (Wendy) that was kidnapped by Captain Hook, in hopes of collecting her ransom. Little does he know, a Heavenly/Hellish adventure awaits. There's only one thing on the line: his soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deal with the Devil

**Chapter 1: Deal with the Devil**

The girl glared at Jim. Jim glared right back.

He didn't care if she was mad. He didn't care if she was upset. If she cried (thank God she hadn't) Jim wouldn't care about that either. It was policy to explain to his victims why he was kidnapping them. It also helped to convince Jim that he wasn't completely evil - he just had a lot of bad baggage.

A LOT of bad baggage. Jim made a deal with the Devil. And when he died, Jim was going straight to Hell. It was a long story. And it all started the day he was born.

Jim Hawkins lived in Illtyde. Illtyde , as legend has it, dropped from Heaven then bounced off Hell. It rolled around the sun, moon, and stars before crashing somewhere in between. The impact split the country into two parts: East Illtyde and West Illtyde.

Saints lived in the East. Sinners lived in the West.

Per legend, children are separated into saints and sinners before birth. For every saint made by an angel, a demon makes a sinner. Each child is a cocktail of genetic material extracted from the parents combined with the strengths, weaknesses, and personality traits that their creator decides to throw in.

One could think of angels and demons as chefs. Reason being, each child must be cooked with 14 ingredients. These 14 ingredients were affectionately known as the Seven Deadly Vices and the Seven Heavenly Virtues. All 14 ingredients must be added for a baby to be born, but the quantities varied from child to child.

The vices - pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth - were the favorite ingredients of demons. Therefore, a 'demon child' would be created with more vice than virtue, and the recipe would be reflected through his personality.

The virtues - chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility - were the favorite ingredients of angels. An 'angelic child' might grow up to be a saint, a philanthropist, a recycler, a heroine, a hero, or just a simple, loveable fool.

Regardless, sinner or saint, each child was endowed with a predominant virtue or vice. That is, when each child was blended with the 14 virtues and vices, one overpowered the mix. It might be pride. It might be diligence. It might be kindness. It might be lust. But whichever, the overpowering ingredient drives the actions and morality of each sinner and saint.

Jim Hawkins was a sinner. And his ingredient was Greed.

Greed was a family trait. At least, Jim suspected it was. His mother was dead and he never knew his father, but Jim's siblings were just as greedy (possibly greedier) than him. He had four siblings: three brothers, one sister.

Like all children blessed (or cursed) with Greed, Jim and his siblings were raised by the Cult of Greed. The Cult of Greed was a band of thieves - men and women devoted to material wealth. Occupations ranged from piracy, to thievery, to monopolists, to kidnapping. It was very lucrative - providing you didn't get caught.

Not getting caught was the trick to a successful career in Greed. More often than not, members of the Cult of Greed found their greedy ambitions pestered by their more virtuous personality traits. After all, everybody had all 14 virtues and vices. Sometimes those pesky virtues just had to shine through.

Which was why most of the Cult of Greed members made a deal with the Devil. The deal was simple: you sold your soul.

Seem absurd?

Well reconsider. Think again.

When one sells his soul to the Devil, he is destined to an afterlife in Hell. Suddenly, life on Earth has no reservations. No doubts. No worries. No restrictions. All boundaries are lost. When you know you are going to Hell, you do anything to make your life Heaven on Earth. You are free to lie for love, cheat for cheer, and muck for money.

So, Jim (and his brothers) became what the sinners and saints called 'Devil Incarnates.' They sold their souls to the Devil. And when they died, they were going straight to Hell.

All for a life of Greed.

"Avarice." Jim muttered, taking the girl by the arm. "For some reason, sounds more badass. Hey!"

The girl twisted, simultaneously twisting his wrist. She tried to run, but stopped short by the ropes around her waist.

"You're tied up, Stupid." Jim advanced, rubbing the painful spot under his thumb. "You think after all this crap I'd let you escape?"

The girl paused for a murderous look. Then, skirting around Jim, she attacked the ropes.

Jim laughed.

"Yeah…" Darkly amused he leaned against the tree, watching her little white hands prod and pull. "An old peg legged pirate taught me how to tie those. They're called sailor's knots. Evil cousins of shoe laces…" Jim pointed to the blue ribbon in the girl's hair. "...and bows."

Other than deepening her scowl, the girl made no indication she'd heard. Throwing away his hand, she continued to wrench the ropes, trying to set herself free.

Jim shook his head. Night was filling the forest with indigos and violets that would turn pitch black. West Illtyde didn't believe in stars, so there wouldn't be any light to illuminate their path.

Or their footprints.

Jim shivered. He felt sick, like someone had ripped out his spine. Suspiciously he searched the shadows. There was nothing there. Nothing, at least, that he could see.

Something cracked. Wind hissed through the boughs. Darkness crept in.

Jim turned to the girl. They had to keep moving. They had to get out.

"Come on." Grasping the girl's shoulder, Jim yanked. She landed with a _whump_ against his knees.

Jim unraveled the rope. "Captain Hook's probably sent every creep in West Illtyde after us by now. He wants you back. Bad. Although - "

Deftly, Jim zipped the rope tightly around her wrists " - can't see why. You're nothing but a pain in the - ow!"

Sharp pain shot up his legs as the girl kicked his shins. Jim jerked backwards but maintained hold of the rope.

"That hurt." he told her.

The girl glared. Angrily, she tugged the rope.

Jim shook his head. The girl had refused to speak since he'd kidnapped her. She translated her fury with similar outbursts such as these, and by being _really_ uncoorporative.

But Jim was on a schedule. And he was sick of playing games.

Jim lifted the rope. He held it taut.

"We going to do this the hard way? Or are you going to stand up?"

She answered by planting her feet.

Jim shrugged. "Lady's choice."

Shouldering the rope, he turned and pulled.

The girl resisted. But after an almighty lurch, she flopped onto her stomach and dragged through the dirt.

Jim continued three more paces before rolling his eyes and stopping all together.

"This is ridiculous."

Winding the rope, Jim strode to the girl. And in his usual business-like manner, he stooped, seized, and slung the girl over his shoulder.

That got her mad. The girl squirmed, kicked, jabbed, punched, and wriggled like a fish. She was an indignant little thing and made very clear of her loathing, despite her persistent silence.

It was all Jim could do not to retaliate. That was unusual. Unlike Captain Hook - a man notoriously driven by Wrath - Jim rarely lost his temper. He was quickly losing it to this girl, but fear of being followed by Captain Hook kept him calm. At least, _calmer_.

"Again." Jim grit his teeth. " _That. Hurts_."

The girl gave a _hmph_ and dug her elbow into his spine. Jim winced, wobbled, but kept trudging through the night.

The moon had shrunk into a pin-prick before the girl finally gave up. Exhausted, she sagged against Jim's neck. Unconvinced that she had completely surrendered, Jim waited until she fell asleep.

"Thank the freaking lord."

Carefully, Jim eased the girl from his shoulder and into his arms. Distributing her weight more evenly across his chest, he continued through the forest at a faster pace.

"This is so dumb." Jim mused. Ducking under nettles, he hefted the girl up a rocky slope. "At this rate, we'll both get caught - "

"THIS WAY! AVAST YE SCROGS! THEY WENT THIS WAY!"

Screaming broke the silence. The girl jumped awake as Jim's heart jumped into his throat.

"Damn it!" Jim slammed against a rock. He squeezed a hand over the girl's mouth.

"Shut up!" he hissed as torchlight launched through the trees. Twisting, he held the girl as she struggled for the approaching men. "Shut up! They're not coming to rescue you! These are the bad guys! These are - "

The wailing men burst through the darkness.

Jim swallowed. " - pirates. Captain Hook's pirates."

The girl stopped. Eyes wide, she sunk into Jim.

Jim held her close. Turning, he pressed the girl into the rock, trying to melt into their surroundings.

"Don't move." Jim whispered. He breathed slowly against the girl. Her caramel curls tickled his nose. "They're looking for you. Just don't move."

She obeyed. For once, she remained perfectly still.

And Jim knew why.

Jim had kidnapped the girl from Captain Hook. But for some reason, Captain Hook had kidnapped the girl first. When Jim found her aboard the Jolly Roger she had been crying. Sobbing. The pirates were torturing her. Not enough to kill - only enough to make her cry.

Jim curled. The girl was so slight she curled easily inside his body. As the pirates swarmed the forest like insets over a hive, Jim laid his cheek against her head.

He had no idea who the girl was. He had no idea of her name.

He had no idea why she had been kidnapped by Captain Hook.

Jim only knew two things.

First: In the world of West Illtyde, the world of sinners, the girl looked like a saint.

Second: Captain Hook would pay to get her back.

And as a child of Greed, that was exactly Jim's intent.


	2. Wendy is Dead

**Chapter 2: Wendy is Dead**

"And he thinks that I - Captain James Hook - _will pay to get her back_?"

Mr. Smee nodded. The red pom-pom bounced on the end of his knit cap.

"That's what it says, Capn!" Mr. Smee said, hiding behind the ransom note. Apprehensively, he watched the captain's silhouette behind the paper. "Itsa ransom note alright, it is! Clear as glass. Regular as anything."

Captain Hook swiped the air. An iron hook glinted from his left arm. "Read it!"

Mr. Smee adjusted his half-moon spectacles. "Dear um...well...I think we can skip that part…"

"By the devil Smee!" Captain Hook roared. "Read the bloody note!"

Mr. Smee sighed. As Captain Hook's boatswain and personal assistant, Mr. Smee was a nervous wreck. Well=meaning and willing, but a nervous wreck!

Never a sinner - he was born a saint - Mr. Smee's virtue was Diligence. The Circle of Diligence was a unique breed. Those with the virtue were driven by a zealous nature and careful attention to work. They were list-maker-note-taker -high energy- obsessive compulsive folks relentlessly checking the boxes and racing the cock.

Those of Diligence were devoted to their work. But they were devoted to a fault. It was well known among the sinners that hard work could blind a Diligent saint. All one needed was occasional praise and consistent results, and the hard work of a Diligent saint could be used to the sinner's advantage.

Sinners called the scheme "persuasion." But basically it was slavery.

Such was the relationship between Mr. Smee and Captain Hook. Mr. Smee's one goal was to bring order and calm to Captain Hook and his crew. And since Captain Hook and his pirates were born of the Cult of Wrath, it was hard (not to mention unattainable).

Daily and nightly, sunrise to sunset, tide in and tide out, Mr. Smee bumbled over the Jolly Roger, Captain Hook's ship. He pecked and prodded like a mother hen squabbling over her bickering chicks.

It was a challenge. And a full day's work. But if the pirates could go one day without killing each other, then Mr. Smee was happy with a job well done.

Especially if he could appease the rage of Captain James Hook.

"Capn…" Sweetly, Mr. Smee wagged a finger. "...you're having one of those nasty headache spells again! How about a nice - "

"Smee." The captain's voice was dangerous. "Read the bloody letter before I slice your throat with it."

"...dear me."

"Assuredly. Now..." Captain Hook demanded. " _Read_."

Mr. Smee obeyed.

"If it will unruffle you Capn! If it will blow some wind from your sails! Ehh- hemm!" Mr. Smee flapped the letter and cleared his throat. "It begins: _Dear Scumbag_ \- "  
"Bad form!" snarled Captain Hook. "Disruptable thief!"

Mr. Smee tried to butter his voice. The message worsened with the next lines, and Captain Hook was already hot as a flame.

"The note continues…" Mr. Smee read, " _I know you want her. You know I have her. Meet my 'wildest dreams of avarice' and we'll talk about a trade. This is a ransom note. Pay to get The Girl back. Meet me at The Crossroads on Friday the 13th at 6:66 nightfall._ And it ends . Well." Mr. Smee folded the note. "That is unflattering!"

"Read it." growled Captain Hook.

Mr. Smee gulped. "Um. It ends with... _Later Scumbag_."

Captain Hook sliced his sword through an imaginary foe. "Rapscallion! This thief is worse than that blasted demon, Peter Pan! Mark my words Smee - this fool thief will rue the day he tangles with Captain Hook!"

Mr. Smee lifted timid finger. "Mightn't it be he, Capn?"

Captain Hook spun. "Be who? _Mr. Smee_?"

"Peter Pan."

"Peter Pan?"

"Aye, aye Capn." Eager to help, Mr. Smee indicated to the ransom note. " Peter Pan. Mightn't this thief who kidnapped the little lass from the Jolly Roger, be Peter Pan? After all - twas your pirates that kidnapped her from him. Plus, this message is highly disrespectful! And Peter Pan mocks you well."

Captain Hook considered.

"Pan." He growled, hook twisting over his sword. "Peter Pan. No Smee! No! It cannot be Pan! The girl was lured from his side! How could he possibly notice she was gone!"

Mr. Smee smiled. "Pan took quite a shine to her, Capn. Hid her away. Kept her for himself an' all."

Captain Hook whipped his sword, thinking. "Hardly a reason to suspect him! No! Pan is a sinner of Hubris. A sinner of Pride. In the event of rescue he would have gloated before flying away."

Mr. Smee scratched under his cap. "Well. I suppose you're right Capn. After all - the thief left his signature. And it's not Peter Pan's."

"Signature? The fool thief left his name?"

Shaking his head, Mr. Smee displayed the note. "Not his name. His birthmark."

Captain Hook seized the paper. His eyes flew to a symbol scrolled at the bottom of the page.

The symbol was a vertical infinity knot, modified with a diamond top.

"I should have known." Captain Hook pressed the symbol with his thumb. "Infinity with a diamond. The birthmark of Greed."

Mr. Smee clasped his cheeks. All saints and sinners had a birthmark indicating their predominant virtue or vice. The birthmark was tattooed by an angel or demon into the small curve of a child's lower back.

Each birthmark contained an infinity knot redesigned for the particular virtue or vice. The infinity knot symbolized unity across the fourteen traits, but the variations unified saints and sinners according to their predominant virtue or vice.

For example, Captain Hook and his crew belonged to the Cult of Wrath and they shared the same birthmark: a vertical infinity knot with two horns on the head. The horns represented extreme anger, combustive and raw as fighting bulls.

Mr. Smee's birthmark was also a vertical infinity knot. But instead of horns, the infinity loops were filled with two spirals, one turning clockwise and the other counterclockwise. The opposite turning spirals represented the unending, zealous labor that distinguished the Circle of Diligence.

Mr. Smee pressed his spectacles up his nose. He squinted at the infinity knot on the ransom note. The lower half was typically curved, but the top half was pointed like a diamond.

"Oh dear!" Mr. Smee mumbled. The diamond atop the infinity knot symbolized wealth, money, material, and treasure - all motivations for the Cult of Greed. "Capn! So it isn't Peter Pan!"

"So not, it would seem." said the captain. "Peter Pan is of the Cult of Pride. Their symbol is an upright infinity knot, adorned with a crown! Crown! Ha! What pitiful self glory is that! Crown! Kingmanship! Blast the arrogance of the Cult of Pride!"

Again, Mr. Smee scratched his head. Dandruff covered his ears like snow.

"Oh Capn! It's so confusing! If the thief is a sinner of Greed, then he'll be expecting a weighty sum!"

"Brilliant deduction, Mr. Smee."

"And he wants that we should meet him at the...the…" Mr. Smee gulped. " _The Crossroads_! The most northern tip of the country? The spot where West and East Illtyde meet? Where...where demons and angels…."

"Where demons and angels throw saints to Heaven and sinners to Hell! Yes, Mr. Smee! Yes!"

Captain Hook crumpled the note. "And on Friday the 13th at 6:66 nightfall. The day where sinners are protected from harm! Damn! No doubt he'll want to meet at that blasted inn. The Inn Between! A place of rest for sinners and saints. Damn!"

Captain Hook raised his hook and his fist. "We'll be surrounded by enemies from East Illtyde and West! Our greedy thief is a crafty one, Smee!"

Mr. Smee wiped his brow. "Dear me! Capn! What shall we do?"

A shadow dropped from the rigging. "Pray."

"Capn!" Mr. Smee squealed as Captain Hook's tricorn flew off his head. "Capn! A demon! A angel! A ghost!"

"Worse!" Captain Hook slashed at his floating hat. "Peter Pan!"

Indeed it was. As Mr. Smee dove for cover, Captain Hook felt his blood burning like oil and eyes turning red. Monstrous fury clawed his chest, snarling to be let out.

Captain Hook _hated_ Peter Pan. _Hated_.

A sinner of Pride, Peter Pan christened himself king of Neverland, the southernmost archipelago of West Illtyde. He tolerated few intrusions, but managed to coexist with local indians (Cult of Pride), pixies (Cult of Envy), and mermaids (Cult of Lust). The boy even lead a rag-tag team of orphans captured from every corner of West Illtyde. All born of different sins, the troupe called themselves The Lost Boys.

So, all in all, Peter Pan considered himself a fair ruler of Neverland. He just didn't fancy pirates. Especially Captain Hook.

Despite his young age, Peter Pan was feared by sinners and saints alike. Little was known of Peter (he was something of a local poltergeist) but it was well verified that the boy had a supernatural ability: he could fly.

Truly, Peter Pan was a favorite character for tall tales and campfire stories. According to legend, Peter stole his smile from a demon and flight from an angel's wings. They said Peter laughed like a crow and flew like a comet. And, it was rumored that Peter threw dice with the Devil on Saturdays, just for fun.

Peter loved the attention. After all, he _was_ marvelous, and everybody knew it.

But it _really_ irritated Captain Hook.

"Peter Pan!" Captain Hook raised his sword to the shrouds. Moonlight cut through the sails as he insulted Peter's pride. "Come out, Boy! Come out or stay hidden like the coward you are!"

"Where is she?"

The voice was behind him. Spinning, Captain Hook found Peter perched on the bulwark.

"Who?" Captain Hook smiled through his rage. Playfully he swished his sword. "Please. Be more specific. Who is this ambiguous _she_?"

Peter's eyes glittered. They were dark and bottomless as black holes. Vengefully, he shred the feathers from Captain Hook's hat.

"Where…" Peter flicked his knife, "... _is Wendy_?"

Captain Hook could not stop his smile.

"What the Devil…" he answered, speaking over Mr. Smee's nervous hiccups. "...makes you think that I have your _precious, delicate, innocent, vulnerable, helpless, little_ , - "

"WHERE IS SHE?"

Peter leapt. Captain Hook felt a knife graze his skull as he swerved and ducked behind the mast.

"I know you have her!" Peter attacked, insanely hacking with his knife. "The mermaids heard her crying and the pixies heard the pirates laugh! You kidnapped her, Hook! And I swear that if you've hurt my girl - "

" _Your_ _girl_?" Captain Hook swung his sword. Sparks split as the pirate grinned between their blades. "I think the Devil would disagree! Don't you? Peter Pan? As I recall, His Hellishness ordered _your girl_ dead with a stake through her lovely little heart - "

"WHERE IS SHE?" Peter propelled every ounce of strength into Captain Hook. Viciously, he charged Hook into the mast, knife against the pirate's throat.

"Where..." Peter hissed, blood slipping over his knife and onto his hands. "...is Wendy?"

Captain Hook dared not move. He tilted back his head, but Peter pushed the blade into Hook's skin.

"Wendy…" Hook whispered, windpipe bulging into Peter's knife. "...is dead."

The knife drew back.

"...what?"

The despair in Peter's voice was Heaven to Captain Hook's ears.

"Eaten by the crocodile." Hook lied, feeding Peter's nightmare. "You know the beast. The very same crocodile you threw my left hand. A beast of Glutton. And a glutton for…human flesh."

Captain Hook spit the three words in Peter Pan's face. " _Wendy. Is. Dead._ "

Peter Pan believed the lie. Crumbling from the ship, he screamed into the stars before falling from the sky.

"Capn Hook!" Mr. Smee gazed reverently. "The lass t'aint dead. She's only kidnapped. Capn! You've out-clevered Peter Pan!"

"Yes."Captain Hook retrieved his tricorn from the deck. Haughtily he held it out. "You may dust my hat, Mr. Smee."

"Aye, aye!" Zealously, Mr. Smee brushed the brim. "Anything for the eloquent Capn Hook! Bravo! Capn, bravo! That lie might kill Peter Pan! Heavens to Betsy, it might just kill him at that!"

"Hardly." Bowing, Captain Hook allowed Mr. Smee to replace his magnificent hat. Carefully, he cocked it just so. "But, it will certainly belay Pan as we hunt for Miss Wendy...and her kidnapping thief."

Mr. Smee rubbed his nose. "Do you think we'll sniff him out, Capn? Before having to pay the lass's ransom?"

Captain Hook was silent. Gazing into the mainland, he contemplated the mysterious thief.

"We've made a deal with the Devil." Captain Hook finally replied. Reflectively, he rubbed his hook. "We have no choice."

"That…" breathed a bone-dry voice. "...is the gospel truth."

Both pirates turned to ice.

For standing at the bowsprit, the moon a silver halo against his crown, was the Horned King.

Or, as most called him, The Devil.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sultal's note: You can see the birthmarks on my Deviant Art page (sultal-wf is my Deviant Art name), under the title: "7 Vice and 7 Virtue Birthmarks: Disney Fanfiction"  
> LINK: http://sultal-wf.deviantart.com/art/7-Vice-and-7-Virtue-Birthmarks-Disney-Fanfiction-557130986


	3. The Horned King

**Chapter 3: The Horned King**

Luckless few have seen the Horned King. But all have felt him, because all have felt pain. The Horned King's one virtue was his generosity of anguish, heartache, and despair. But to behold him, to actually be in the presence of the Devil...well, there was only one way to describe it.

It sucked. It rotted. It hurt. _It sucked._

The sky shred where the Horned King walked, and acid burned the air. There were no more stars left in West Illtyde and the Devil would have crucified a constellation if it came back to life. His presence was psychotically still but somehow Captain Hook could hear children screaming as the Horned King spoke.

"Where..." The Horned King whispered, "...is the girl?"

Mr. Smee collapsed. He pulled his cap to cover his ears. The Horned King's voice was harsh and dissonant, like a buzzsaw through the brain.

"Where..." the Horned King repeated, stepping through the sails. "...is the girl?"

Captain Hook's spine knotted. The Horned King's movements were slow and dangerously deliberate, like a snake. Moonlight struck his horned crown then vanished into his eyes, which were nothing but empty sockets in a skull face. Crimson red robes dripped off him like blood, and with every other blink Captain Hook imagined that a Black Cauldron sat at the Devil's feet.

The Black Cauldron.

Captain Hook crouched, grabbing Mr. Smee for support. His chest pinched, as if a string attached to his sternum was pulling him into the Black Cauldron. His soul was in that cauldron. Captain Hook was a devil incarnate. He had sold his soul to the Devil and when he died, he was going straight to Hell.

The Black Cauldron was where sold souls were kept. The fat metal belly was gorged with sinners, and the cauldron never left the Horned King's side. Only when the devil incarnate died, his soul would exhume from the cauldron and descend into Hell.

Captain Hook sold his soul when Peter cut off his hand. Wretched and squirming, he begged the Horned King for a replacement strong as iron so he could rip out Peter Pan's heart. The Devil acquiesced but in the cruelest, literal sense: instead of a hand, he bestowed the captain an iron hook.

It was a wicked bargain. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. Even for the eloquent Captain Hook.

"Sire...sire..." Captain Hook began. " _Sire_...I had her. I - "

The Horned King breathed. Bones rubbed in his throat.

"She is gone."

"...y-y-y..." Captain Hook knelt. His hook touched the deck. "Sire. I apologi...have mercy Sire...have-"

"Peter Pan recaptured the girl?"

"No!" Captain Hook cried, groveling at the opportunity for redemption. "No, Sire! But when he came for her, I told him the girl was dead! Fed to the crocodile! Pan believed the lie! He shall never suspect - "

"Then where is the girl?" the Horned King said. "If not with Peter Pan?"

Captain Hook grappled for the crumpled ransom note.

"Here! A thief, Sire! A thief stole the girl!"

"It's true." Mr. Smee mumbled into the deck.

Captain Hook raised the ransom note, but it smoked from his hands. Instantly, golden words scrolled through the air, rewriting the thief's message as the Horned King silently read.

"Ahhhh." The Horned King hissed as the thief's signature appeared. He strangled the golden birthmark until it vanished midair. " _Greed_. A thief of Greed has the girl!"

"My pirates made chase!" Captain Hook insisted, gesturing to the shore. "They are searching for the thief and the girl now!"

"Your pirates have failed once." The Horned King said. "They will fail again. You will fail me again. Wrath is a flame in the dark - combustive, but blinding. I cannot engage Sinners of Wrath to find her alone. Reinforcements, sinners of all breeds, will hunt for the girl. And her thief."

"Sire!" Captain Hook begged. "Sire! I assure you, my crew will catch the sniveling stoleaways! I will find the girl! And when I do -"

"You will deliver her to The Crossroads. You will deliver her to me. Should you find her. Dispatch your pirates. Continue your hunt. But first..."

The Horned King lifted a finger. "First, Captain Hook, you will rally the Neverland sinners. The Mermaids of Lust. The Pixies of Envy. The Seawitch of Wrath. The Hyenas of Gluttony, and the Beast of Wrath to prevent the hyenas from devouring the girl."

"Do not beseech the Crocodile of Gluttony." continued the Horned King. "Or the Indians of Pride. Their allegiance runs thickly for their own kin, but thinly for me. Much like Peter Pan..."

The Horned King clenched his skeletal hands. "Peter Pan. Sinner of Pride. Pride higher than the sun. Fool boy. His pride was the magic trick used to distract me. Well. It seems Peter Pan's trick has backfired. The girl will be mine. She must be caught..."

The Horned King caressed The Black Cauldron. "The girl...is too dangerous."

Captain Hook was incredulous, enough to question the Horned King.

"Dangerous?" Captain Hook imagined the little girl, a blue bow like butterfly in her hair. "Dangerous? Peter Pan's little wretch? Sire? How the...devil..."

Captain Hook gulped. He'd spoken the Devil's name in vain. Cursing his negligence, Captain Hook pushed through his blunder. "...how can it be so?"

The Horned King stared. Then he latched an icy finger beneath the pirate's throat.

"She may be the one."

"The one?"

"The clamshell."

"Sire! The clamshell?" Captain Hook gasped. "Of the apocalypse? Prophesized by the Blue Fairy? Doom's Day? Do you believe that the clamshell is...the girl?"

"Yes. And if she is the clamshell..." The Horned King said. "...described by the oracular Blue Fairy, then she must be found. And delivered...to me."

The Horned King squeezed his fingers. He felt the pirates' fear, and was envigorated.

Satiated, the Horned King faded to ash. "Serve me well Hook. And the girl's flesh, could serve as your new hand."

Captain Hook and Mr. Smee cowered far into the night. It was only until Mr. Smee - bless his heart - mustered the courage to ask:

"Capn. Clamshell? Prophesized? Blue Fairy? Doom? Oh Capn. What does it all mean?"

Captain Hook did not reply. It was unnecessary. Because a dark wind was running through Illtyde, the Blue Fairy's prophecy whispering on it's tail.

_Ring a ring o' clam shells_

_Listen well as I tell_

_Sinner! Sinner!_

_We all fall down_

_..._

_Ring a ring o' clam shells_

_Damn the soul that you sell_

_Sinner! Sinner!_

_We all fall down_

_..._

_Ring a ring o' clam shells_

_In His Hell you will dwell_

_Sinner! Sinner!_

_We all fall down_

_..._

_Ring a ring o' clam shells_

_Save your soul from His Hell_

_Sinner! Sinner!_

_We all fall dead._


	4. The Blue Fairy

**Chapter 4:** **The Blue Fairy**

Philoctetes was a three foot two inch-potbellied-short tempered-woman crazy-half man-half goat-stubborn- sweaty-cynical-slob.

He was also a saint. A saint of Kindness. His birthmark, pinched inside the skin folds of his lower back, was an upright infinity knot. The top of the infinity knot was a heart.

And when one was a saint of Kindness _and_ a three foot two inch-potbellied-short tempered-woman crazy-half man-half goat-stubborn- sweaty-cynical-slob, there was only _one job_ suited for him.

Philoctetes (Phil) was a trainer of heroes. Big hearted and in touch with his inner demon, Phil was the "tough love" sort. He coached bed-wetters into angels with flaming swords. He turned saints into _Saints_ with a capital _S_.

And holy matrimony was he good at it.

Until recently.

"No! NO! _No no no no no_ NO! You wet lambs! You freak shows!" Phil stomped to the waterfall. "What did I say?! _What did I say_?"

Phil squinted at the three soaking heroes-in-training. Inwardly, Phil placed a big emphasis on the _'in training_ ' part, because this trio was hopeless.

First, there was Hercules. Dumbo ear, carrot haired, cheesy grin Hercules. He had biceps the size of watermelons, monster calves, rippling pectorals and a heart of pure gold. Hercules was the _quintessential_ saint of Kindness. A.k.a: whimp.

Second, there was Mulan. Mulan was a saint of Charity, and she gave 164% effort every day. The embodiment of determination-meets-empathy, Mulan gave Phil everything she had, which wasn't much. After all she was a girl. Losta brain; little brawn.

And third, there was Garrett. A saint of Humility, Garrett was tall, rugged, handsome...and blind. His attributes included a walking stick and a silver-winged falcon named Aiden that Garrett could _apparently_ understand. Phil grunted. _Nuff said._

Objectively, Phil could summarize the three saints with three adjectives. Hercules: big, not so bright. Mulan: bright, not so big. Garrett: big, bright, but blind.

It was pitiful. In all his glorious years as a hero-trainer, Phil never had a less competent group. Sure they were chivalrous, noble, brave yatta yatta yatta, but holy matrimony they were all so... _saintly_. It was annoying. And it was getting in the way of the butt kicking.

Phil scratched his rump. He pulled out a few hairs. These kids would need a miracle to survive this training mission in West Illtyde.

"What did I tell you punks?" Phil repeated as Mulan and Hercules helped Garrett from the water. He splayed all fingers. "Rule Number 10! Rule Number 10! Does _anyone_ know Rule Number 10?"

Hercules grimaced. Garrett snorted. Mulan spoke.

" _Rule Number 10: Watch your footwork_."

"Ohhhh!" Phil said. "So you all remember Rule Number 10, do you?"

Nods.

" _Because y'all forgot it pretty good out there playing fancy footloose with Kaa, Creeper, and Fidget_!" Phil shouted, hopping on the riverbank. "Holy matrimony! What was that? We practiced footwork last week! You know the acronym! _FSWAEBKBBOYF_! _FSWA_ feet shoulder width apart, _EB_ equal balance, _KB_ knees bent, and _BOYF_ on the balls of your feet! Then you can fling into the ol' lunge and punch - "

"Well that explains the left hook." Garrett said, mopping his bloody lip. "Hercules. Nice punch."

"That was Mulan."

"Really? Mulan, bravo. I might lose a tooth."

"Sorry, Garrett."

"It happens."

"Um!" Phil waved his arms. "Hola? Hello? Earth to students that just got _shlapped_! You guys fought like daylilies versus Tyrannosaurus rex! Herc! A fish? You drop your sword in the pool and try to fight Creeper with a _fish_?"

"Uh - " Hercules glanced at Mulan and Garrett, unsure how to answer Phil's rhetorical question. "Uh. Well. Yeah. I did. But it was an accident - "

"Rule Number 16!"

Hercules rubbed his neck. "Oh come on Phil."

"Rule Number 16!" Phil barked. "Spit it out man child! _Rule Number 16: A hero_ \- "

" _A hero_." Halfheartedly, Hercules skimmed his blade through the reeds. " _Is only as good as his weapon_."

"That's right!" Phil spun. "Mulan! You punched Gary!"

"It's Garrett."

"And _you_!" Phil spun again. "Gary! How could you not see that punch coming!"

Expressionless, Garrett pointed to his milky eyes. "I'm blind."

"Stop giving excuses!" Phil ducked as Aiden chirped angrily over his horns. "Remember _Rule Number 66: Keep both eyes open when you shoot; you'll see twice as well_!"

Mulan and Hercules blinked.

Garrett almost smiled. Gesturing with his staff, he turned towards Hercules and Mulan. "Is he still talking to me?"

"It means _use your resources_!" Phil kicked wet leaves from his hoof. "You've got hearing, smell, touch, taste, and gut instinct right? Plus, doesn't that bird _quote-on-quote 'SEE'_ for you Gary?"

Aiden squawked. Garrett stroked his wing. "Aiden is a falcon."

"Do you think I give a _crab cake_ what type of bird it is?" Phil turned purple. "Chicken, pigeon, pterodactyl I don't care! You brought the bird so use him!"

"Phil!" Hercules knelt. "Phil, calm down! Come on. At least we beat them, didn't we?"

"You beat three, second rate sinners!" Phil poked Hercules' chest. His finger almost broke against the iron muscles.

"News flash..." Phil sucked his knuckle. "That was kid's stuff! Peach fuzz! Get it into your heads now, punks! _Rule Number 79: There's always a bigger fish!_ And _Rule Number 6:_ _The bigger they are, the harder they hit!_ This is West Illtyde! There's always going to be a meaner sinner with a bigger meat cleaver! _You wanna be heros_?"

Phil clomped into the forest. "Then we've got work to do! Come on, punks! Move it!"

Mulan shook her head. "Where are we going?"

"Back!" Phil roared. "Back to the Inn Between, and back to East Illtyde. Straight to the gym! Gonna make you sweat till you drown! _Kapeesh_?"

"But we just won!" Mulan protested. "Phil! Give us another chance! One more fight! One more battle!"

"Nothin' doing you're not ready."

"Phil!"

"Tough noogies."

"Phil!" Mulan pleaded. "Phil! We - "

"Hey! Miss Charity!" Phil tugged Mulan's tunic. Under the fabric the birthmark of Charity, a vertical infinity knot open at both ends, rest on her lower back.

"Let's be charitable and not argue with Coach Phil, huh? _Rule Number 67: Play by the rules_! And _Rule Number 68_ \- "

Phil shoved Mulan with one hand and dragged Hercules and Garrett with the other. " _I make the rules_! So come on punks! You ain't heroes yet!"

"What a misfortune." Chimed a musical voice. "For I need a hero. Or two. Or three."

"Rule Number 39!" With astounding agility Phil flung Mulan, Garrett, and Hercules down. "DUCK!"

Phil flopped onto his belly. "Alright imposter!" He growled at a pastel light glowing behind the trees. "Come out with your hands up! Come out with your sin...sinner...whoa. _Holy. Matrimony_."

Darkness dissolved. And a woman with crystal wings folded from a sparkling, blue light.

"Oh." Hercules touched his heart. Had he a hat, he would have removed it. Had he been standing, he would have knelt. "Oh. Phil. Phil who..."

"Garrett." Mulan smiled and couldn't stop. "Garrett. She's...she's beautiful. I know you can't see. But she's so - "

"I know." Garrett exhaled, soft music in his ears. "I can hear it. I can feel..."

"Who..." Hercules breathed. "...is she?"

Phil rose. "She's a messenger from Heaven. An angel. She's..." Phil bowed his head, "...The Blue Fairy."

The Blue Fairy smiled. And the filth of West Illtyde disintegrated into her sunshine smile and alabaster glow.

"Philoctetes." The Blue Fairy took the satyr's hand. Her voice was gentle. So gentle, it hurt. "My dear, dear Philoctetes. I have missed you. It has been too long."

Phil blushed. Gingerly, he touched his forehead to the Blue Fairy's hand.

When he looked up, the blush was gone.

"Blue, babe!" Smoothing his eyebrow, Phil cozied to the Blue Fairy's side. "What's a nice dame like you doing in a place like this?"

"He's hitting on an angel." Mulan gagged. "Phil's going to Hell."

But the Blue Fairy was merely amused. Perhaps, especially to Phil, a little flattered.

"Philoctetes." Nonetheless kind, the Blue Fairy turned solemn. She lowered before Phil, descending gracefully as a swan. "I need your help. I need a hero."

"You kidding?" Phil puffed like a frog. "Philoctetes! Hero at large! At your service! Sock it to me, babe! What's the deal?"

The Blue Fairy twinkled at his offer. But she was still sad. "I made a prophesy."

"Ooo." Phil squished an eye. "Eck. One of those buggers? Which one?"

"The Clamshell."

"Clamshell, clamshell...Oh the Sinner's Prophesy? The Clamshell Prophecy?"

The Blue Fairy nodded.

"Prophesies." Phil spit. "Bad juju. They sneak up on ya. Like rabbits."

The Blue Fairy smiled appreciatively. "They do."

Phil patted her hand. "So the prophecy spoke through you, huh? Poor baby. You probably have zero idea what it means. And zero idea what _'clamshell'_ means. Right?"

The Blue Fairy sighed heavily, though she seemed relieved. "True."

"But!" Phil beamed. "You need a hero to protect you! Right?"

Fleetingly the Blue Fairy averted her eyes. Her gaze was imploring upon return.

"Philoctetes...The Horned King believes the clamshell is found."

Phil turned to jelly. His blood ran cold. Cognizant of the darkness gathering by mere mention of the Horned King's name, he stared into the Blue Fairy's frightened eyes.

"The Horned King? The Devil?" Phil squeezed her hands to stop the tremor in his. "Who? Who is the clamshell?"

The Blue Fairy spoke painfully. "He thinks it is a girl."

"Is he right?"

She considered. "I do not...completely believe so. But I am only the messenger of the prophecy, not the author."

"Oi chee-mama." Phil tweeked his nose. "Who's the girl? Saint? Sinner? What's this chic's name?"

The Blue Fairy shook her head. Golden curls waved over her glittering cheeks. "Her name? The Horned King only knows. But he does not have her."

Phil leaned. "No?"

"No." Hope lifted the Blue Fairy's voice. "A thief stole her away.."

"Does the thief know who the girl is? Or..." Phil swallowed, "...who the Horned King thinks she is?"

The Blue Fairy paused. Her wings wilted.

Then releasing Phil, she rose. "It does not matter. Philoctetes, the Devil Incarnates are gathering. The Horned King is hunting. And whether or not this girl is the clamshell...the prophecy _is_ coming true."

"So. You need a hero." Phil raised his chin. "For what? Find the girl before the sinners?"

The Blue Fairy shook her head. "No. She may not be the clamshell. Philoctetes...I need a hero to decipher the prophecy."

Phil almost choked.

"What? _Say what_? Blue, babe! You want me to _solve_ the Clamshell Prophecy? You want me to _crack the code_?"

"No." The Blue Fairy lifted an open palm. "You, your lady, and gentlemen."

"Me, my whooza, and who?"

Phil froze. Then he turned.

The heroes-in-training stood behind him, three in a row. Hercules looked confused, Garrett looked skeptical, and Mulan looked ready to body slam the gates of Hell.

"Oaghhhhhhh!" Frantically Phil turned to the Blue Fairy. " _Nah-nah-nah_ NO, big fat NO! They're not heroes! They're rookies! Students! Saplings! _Saps_! They can't even - "

The Blue Fairy smiled. She started to fade.

"Seek the wisest saints..." The Blue Fairy said. "...Merlin the Diligent and Mama Odie the Temperate."

"Merlin and Mama Odie have been missing for years!" Phil cried.

"They will help decipher the Clamshell Prophecy."

"Then why don't you go bug them?"

"Philoctetes..." The Blue Fairy whispered. "...Philoctetes the Kind. Thank you. And grateful thanks, to my heroes."

The Blue Fairy disappeared. As her body broke into glitter and butterflies, Phil shook his fists at sky.

"THEY'RE NOT HEROES! THEY'RE ROOKIES! AND IF YOU THINK WE'RE GOING ON YOUR HEAVENLY QUEST THEN I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU BABE: BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

"AH!" Phil wrenched about face. Fuming, he bulldozed through the stunned trainees.

"Um Phil." Hercules counted on his fingers. " _Burn in Hell_ is actually three - "

"I know!"

Mulan raced through the glitter as it diffused through the wood. "You cursed an angel! You're probably going to be the one that burns in - "

"I know! I know!" Phil swatted at the butterflies. "Come on punks! Let's go!"

Mulan skipped ahead. "Phil we can't go back to East Illtyde _now_! We can't go back to the Inn Between! The Blue Fairy needs us! She wants us to - "

"I know, I know! Where do you think we're going?"

"Huh?"

Phil threw up his arms. "We're going on the Blue Fairy's quest! We're going to find Merlin and Mama Odie!"

"Really?" Mulan gushed.

"Well waddaya think? A hot divinity in a sequin negligee just asked me to be her hero! _Of course_ we're going to go on her stinking quest! BUT - "

Phil pointed at each trainee. "This doesn't make you heroes! You're still rookies! _Comprendo_? _Kapeesh_?"

Mulan wriggled like a puppy. "Yes! Yes, yes! We got it! We'll give it everything we've got! Right guys?"

Hercules grinned. He gave Mulan a thumbs up.

Garrett fingered his staff. "I...suppose so."

"Okay." Phil hiked his belly. "Here goes nothing. First thing we gotta do is locate Merlin and Mama Odie. Any ideas?"

Garrett raised a brow. "Don't you know?"

Phil high-pitched his voice. "No I don't know!"

"The Blue Fairy doesn't know?" Hercules asked.

"No she doesn't know!" Smoke curled from Phil's ears. "That's why she needs us! "

" _Someone_ must know!" Mulan said, "Is there a sinner we could pay? A monster we could fight? Ancient rune we could read?"

Phil puckered a lip thoughtfully.

"Well. There is the Seawitch of Wrath. She might know, but she's way too far south in the Seat of Lust. By Neverland. That's a creep resort, let me tell you. We're not going down there. But..."

Phil strummed the end of his beard. "...there _is_ the Enchanted mirror. In the Dead Library."

Garrett turned in staff in the ground. "Sounds lovely."

"What's the Enchanted Mirror?" Mulan asked. "And the Dead Library?"

"The Dead Library is the biggest library in Illtyde." Phil made goalposts with his arms. "I'm talking _big_. They say all the knowledge in Illtyde is packed in that baby. Books, treasure maps...The Enchanted Mirror."

"Which is?" Garrett prompted.

"The Enchanted Mirror lets you to see anyone." Phil explained. "All ya gotta do is ask. Creepy as crap, but it might give us some clue if we ask to peek in on Merlin and Mama Odie."

"And who are Merlin and Mama Odie again?" Hercules asked.

Phil rolled his eyes. "Big shot saints. Super smarty pants. Supernatural magical kinda freaks."

"Sounds like it's worth a shot." Hercules said. "But why is it called the _Dead_ Library?"

Phil grinned. "The Dead Library is up north in the Cult of Sloth. Folks in Sloth don't do much reading. Don't do much more than...well they're sinners of Sloth. Don't do much of anything. So the library is empty. Silent. Dead. _Kapeesh_?"

Mulan brightened. "Then it should be easy to get in. No one in Sloth will have enough energy to stop us. Right?"

"Wrong." Phil motioned for the group to follow. "The Dead Library is a tower with no doors to enter. Just a window up at the very top. Sinners of Sloth are too lazy to make doors. Never leave their homes anyway. Plus..."

Phil rolled his fingers, anticipating a strong reaction. "Last time I heard, the Dead Library was guarded by a dragons."

"Dragons?!"

"As in plural?" Hercules said.

"As in one headed, two headed, five headed, authentic fire breathing dragons. But don't worry." Phil muttered. "Should be no problem for heroes like you."

"That's right!" Mulan increased her cadence. Quickly, she fell in stride with Phil. "We can do this. After all, we've got the Blue Fairy on our side - "

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold it princess!" Phil turned. "Let's get one thing cleared up right now: _Mortals run the show_ , kay? Devils, demons, and angels are like puppet masters. They can't directly snatch a sinner or save a saint. That's why they have us. We're the puppets. We do their dirty work! So, if the Horned King wants this ' _clamshell chic_ ' - "

Phil made air quotes.

"- then he hires sinners to hunt her out. Same with the Blue Fairy. If she wants this prophecy solved, then she needs us! Not the other way around! _Kapeesh_?"

Mulan, Hercules, and Garrett nodded. "Kapeesh."

"Good." Phil muttered. Grumpily he trudged onward. "They're _only_ divine. They're not all - knowing. If they were, then we wouldn't have to solve this stupid prophecy."

The group followed in silence.

Then, Hercules asked. "What is the Clamshell Prophecy?"

Phil bit his lip. And although he tried to feign nonchalance, Mulan, Hercules, and Garrett heard the satyr tremble.

"Nothing too serious. Just doom and damnation for sinners. And...possibly the end of the world."

* * *


	5. Lick and Lust

**Chapter 5: Lick and Lust**

"Hungry, my little poopsies?"

Ariel turned. Carcass colored faces liquefied over her shoulder. They were beautiful faces attached to beautiful fish tails, but bleached from years under the sea. After all, they were mermaids. Mermaids of Lust.

And they _needed_ the seawitch to purge their passions.

The mermaids gathered as the seawitch appeared. The seawitch was a caecilian, an octopus maid both beautiful and voluptuous. A sinner of Wrath, she controlled the ocean and it's creatures, but the mermaids were her favorite pets. The seawitch used mermaids to lure men to their deaths.

It was a symbiotic existence. The seawitch had the power to capsize any ship, but she preferred foreplay. Like a bizarre fisherman, she caught men by using mermaids as bait. The mermaids seduced sailors into the sea where the seawitch waited with open jaws. In this coexistence, the mermaids sated their desires and the sea witch sated her wrath for mankind .

"My lovelies." The seawitch purred. "Come to me."

Ariel swam with her sisters and together they groveled to the seawitch like worms. Breathing in octopus ink, she lowered as the oil coated her lips and nostrils. The seawitch's tentacle caressed her red hair all the way to the birthmark on her lower back - a vertical infinity knot with an inverted heart.

Ariel, like her sisters, was a mermaid of Lust. She played the seawitch's game to kill sailors with suffocating kisses, strangling tongue, and venomous love songs. And Ariel never swayed from the practice or doubted the seawitch's command, because it quenched her lust.

Until today. Until she saw the boy...and helped him steal from Captain Hook.

Ariel turned for fear the seawitch would read her mind, but also to hide a very small smile. The boy was nothing particularly special, she'd drown all manner of men before. The boy had wild, ratty hair to match a wild, ratty comportment. His face was hard as stone, but when Ariel swam beneath him she saw a baby button nose and soft, teal-grey eyes in the boy's reflection.

Ariel wanted him. His arrow hit her heart and she burned with desire, more than ever before. But she wanted him not just once. Not just twice. Not just thrice. Not just for a kiss. Not just until he drowned in the fathoms below. She wanted the boy forever.

So, Ariel helped the boy. Rising from the murk, she swam him to the _Jolly Roger_ and escorted him back to shore. Without Ariel's buoyancy and speed, the boy would have never escaped Captain Hook's pirates because he had kidnapped a girl.

Ariel ached to free the boy, especially with the girl. But his grateful smile was well worth the ache. It also gave Ariel a _devilish_ idea. A idea to become part of his world.

"My lovely, dovey, poopsie, woopsies."

The seawitch rolled her tentacle under Ariel's chin. Ariel lifted as the suctions pushed against her glands.

"Tell mommy…." the seawitch twirled upwards, tentacles spinning like a saw. She pointed the bottom of a longboat outlined by moonlight. "...who's hungry?"

In unison the mermaids rose. Flicking around the seawitch they surrounded longboat, singing a haunting hymn.

Ariel snaked between her sisters as they vied for possession of the sailors aboard the longboat. Normally she partook in the petty frenzy, but this time she refrained. The image of the boy was locked in her memory, and Ariel was disinterested in the new prey.

"What's the matter dearie?"

Ariel hissed. A mermaid with shimmering orange hair scratched her back. She slashed as the redhead laughed and a blonde squeezed her chest.

"Poor dearie." the redhead sneered. "Too ugly tonight?"

Ariel thrashed. Twisting over the readhead and thumping her aquamarine tail, she seized an oar. The sailor released and Ariel sunk. Gleefully the mermaids darted by and lifted over the lip of the boat.

_BANG_.

Ariel jerked back. Two of her sisters, Attina and Arista, veered from the longboat as the blonde dropped from the rail, a bullet hole in her head.

The seawitch watched the mermaid sink. She snorted at the blood draining from the mermaid's forehead like red smoke.

"My poor little poopsie." Furiously, the seawitch looked up. Then, snapping together her eight tentacles she and the mermaids vaulted to the surface.

"Pirates!"

Water peeled from Ariel's face. She attacked the longboat as her sisters cried the pirate's name. "Captain Hook!"

Captain Hook grinned. "Ladies." he aimed his pistol between Ariel's eyes. "Lovely evening to catch a thief?"

"...thief?" Ariel choked. She lifted her deep blue eyes. "How did you know?"

Captain Hook frowned. The pistole lowered, just a touch. "Say again? Little maid?"

"Captain Hook." The seawitch seized the boat. It teetered and swallowed water.

The mermaids edged closer as Captain Hook scurried up the side. Captain Hook was an irresistible human; almost as irresistible, but far more unapproachable, than Peter Pan.

"Captain Hook." the seawitch pushed her tentacles up Captain Hook's legs. "You sail my seas and slaughtered my mermaid?! Tch. Tch. _Wrath_ does not become you! Goes terribly with that hat! How about a little _Lust_ …"

"Ursula! You seawitch!" Captain Hook picked the bulbous tentacles, water to his knees. "Fetch your sirens, or _incur my wrath_!"

"Too late." Ursula tipped the boat. "How about a taste of mine?"

"I have orders from the Horned King."

Ursula paused, Captain Hook suspended over the sea.

"The Horned King?" Slowly, Ursula replaced the boat. It bobbed as she slunk to the opposite side, between the captain and shore. "What _orders_?"

Captain Hook straightened his magnificent hat. He snatched Ariel's gaze below the brim.

"Follow me."

Captain Hook lead the procession with the seawitch and mermaids undertow. Ripples spreading from her beating heart, Ariel kept the pirate within her gaze. She knew from the angle of Captain Hook's head, he kept her within his.

"At last." Sand crunched beneath the longboat as Captain Hook crossed ashore. As Ariel surfaced, she could hardly hear the captain over hysterical giggles and growls. "The Hyenas of Glutton. Land ho."

Ariel stared. And as a half digested rib cage splashed into the water and smattered her face, she almost fled.

The hyenas were disgusting.

"OOo-oooheoOoo!" A frenzied, swollen-eyed hyena chased the mermaids. He snapped, slipped, and chewed himself when the mermaids escaped.

"Well, well, well. " A thick lipped, spikey haired hyena prowled the waves. She turned to Banzai, her bald mate. "What have we here, Banzai?"

"Hmmm. I don't know Shenzi." Banzai leered at the mermaids. "Looks like pretty fishy. What do you think, Ed?"

"OOo-oooheoOoo!" The swollen-eyed hyena laughed. Crazily, Ed chomped the saliva hanging from his nose. "OOo-oooheoOoo! OOOOOEEHEHHEOOO!"

"Yeah, just what I was thinking." Banzai growled as the hyenas circled Captain Hook. "A bunch'o _trespassers_!"

"Quite on purpose, let me assure you." Captain Hook replied. "I have orders. A message from the Horned King."

"Horned King?" Shenzi shrieked. "Do you mean old moose head?"

"Yeah!" Banzai snorted. "What's got his _goat_?"

"And how the _devil_..." Shenzi growled, "...did he think you'd get out alive?

Ariel tensed. She swore the pirate flexed his iron hook.

"Have you heard of the Clamshell Prophesy?" Captain Hook whispered, hand drifting to the hilt of his sword.

The hyenas grinned. "Doomsday. And get ready pie-rat cause here it comes."

"And do you know…" Captain Hook drew his sword. "...what happens at the end of the world? The panic. The terror. The…."

Captain Hook pointed at the hyena's birthmark, a bloated infinity knot .

"... _schmorgesborg_."

The hyenas perked. Ed cocked his ears. "Eeeeeoeep?"

Chin underwater, Ariel grinned. She feared Captain Hook but his eloquence was inspiring; with a few magic words, he had the hyenas eating right out of his hand. Rather, his hook.

Ariel inched closer. She tracked Captain Hook as he addressed the assemblage of sinners.

"The Clamshell Prophecy, dictated by the Blue Fairy - "

The mermaids spit. The hyenas snarled.

"- foretells the apocalypse! Doomsday! The end of the world! And it is addressed…" Captain Hook directed his sword. "...to sinners! Not angels! Not saints! Sinners!"

"Sinners?" The hyenas howled. "Doomsday for sinners? That's us!"

"No wonder we're dangling at the bottom of the food chain!" Shenzi barked.

"Man I hate dangling!" Banzai extracted his claws. "This don't sound like a schmorgesborg!"

"wehOOooeeha!" Ed agreed.

Shenzi darted at Captain Hook. "This stooge is playing us a hoax! _Arf_ -"

A bullet skimmed Shenzi's snout. The hyena's yapped as Captain Hook brandished his pistol.

"Now listen. All you mongrels and sea urchins." Captain Hook growled. "Allow me to be _perfectly_ clear. The Clamshell Prophesy is coming true. And the Horned King demands the _prophetic_ clamshell be found and delivered to him."

"So…." Banzai flapped a paw at the mermaids. "...shouldn't you be asking them? Clamshell? Fish? Under da sea?"

The pistol clicked in Banzai's face.

Shenzi retreated. Ed wet himself.

"The clamshell is a _metaphor_." Captain Hook continued as Banzai gulped, "A _person_. A person that the Horned King believes to be a little girl. A little girl named Wendy, with a blue bow in her hair. Wendy was stolen from me before I could deliver her to The Horned King. She was stolen this very night by…."

Captain Hook glanced at Ariel. His eyes flashed red as he completed the sentence.

"...by a thief. A thief of Greed."

Ariel shrunk as the seawitch climbed ashore. The hyenas jittered anxiously as her tentacles gripped the earth.

"A thief of Greed and a little girl. Two little fish lost in a little fishy pool." Ursula traced a tentacle across the captain's lower back. "And the Horned King wants us to find them?"

"What's in it for us?" blurted Banzai.

"What are our perks?" Shenzi said.

The hyenas slit their stained yellow eyes.

Captain Hook smiled. Delicately, he selected a single word to answer both the sinners of Glutton and Lust.

" _Flesh_. When Doomsday comes you will feast on the panicked, sprawling, helpless loins of mankind."

Ursula curled her tentacles. "Agreed."

Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed lead the hyenas' celebration. Delirious in excitement and hunger, they prepared for the hunt.

"The thief you can eat. Or…" Captain Hook flourished o the mermaids. "... _what have you_. But the girl stays. She must be delivered to the Horned King at The Crossroads. _Alive_."

"Aw!" moaned Banzai.

"Man!" sulked Shenzi .

"OOo-oooheoOoo!" Ed said.

"Not to worry." Captain Hook nodded behind the hyenas. "I've brought a _friend_ to help curb your appetites. My gluttonous hyenas...meet the Beast of Wrath."

Ariel did not see The Beast, she only saw his shadow and heard his breath. But, as the mermaids submerged and the hyenas laughed, a hook crossed her throat.

"I've been told…" Captain Hook dragged Ariel into the air. "...that redheads must never be trusted. Tell me."

Ariel gagged. Captain Hook dug his fingers into her neck.

"Before you spoke of the thief. What do you know? What…" Captain Hook squeezed. "...have you done?"

Ariel thrashed. Her fins grazed the water.

"I…."

"Quickly." Captain Hook said. "Like a fish out of water, my dear. Or do I have to feed you to the hyenas - "

"I want to sell my soul."

Captain Hook stopped. Startled, he stared at the mermaid.

"You what?"

"I want…" Ariel gasped, hook cutting into her skull, "...to be...a Devil Incarnate. Sell the Devil...my soul."

Captain Hook paused. Then he released.

Ariel crashed. Water cleared her head and poured into her lungs. But before she could escape, Captain Hook seized her brilliant red hair.

" _Why_?"

Ariel gazed. Then, she coiled her aquamarine tail into the moonlight.

"I want legs."

Captain Hook was stunned. He stared, unable to reply.

Ariel smiled.

"If I have legs, then I can have the thief. And The Devil…." Imperceptibly, Ariel wrapped a hand about his iron hook. "...can have the girl."

Ariel lifted the captain's hooked hand.

"Do we have a deal, Captain Hook?"

No one saw the mermaid and pirate shake. The hyenas tripped dizzily beneath the shadow of a Beast, and the mermaids dreamed wicked fantasies beneath the shadow of a seawitch.

Only one witnessed the bargains made that night. One that slipped silently away, in search for the thief of Greed and a girl with a blue bow in her hair.

"Hey!" Banzai sniffed. "You smell that?"

Shenzi peered into forest. She smelled the spy's tracks. " Oh yeah! I smell it. Half dog?"

Banzai grinned. "Half wolf?"

Together the hyenas turned. "Ed?"

"OOo-oooheoOoo!" Ed cackled, insane for the scent of a half dog - half wolf. "OOo-oooheoOoo! OOOOOEEHEHHEOOO!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sultal's note: I changed Garrett's virtue to Humility in chapter 4. It fits better. ty. keep writing.


	6. Where the Hell is Jim?

**Chapter 6: Where the Hell is Jim?**

_No one_  arm wrestled like Gaston!

And Gaston, a sinner of Pride, was well aware.

" _Is this it_?" Playfully Gaston cranked his opponent's arm halfway. The onlookers jumped as Gaston slowly allowed his opponent to push his arm upright. "This all you got!? Come on!"

Gaston squeezed his opponent's fist. "Stop fighting like a _girl_!"

The opponent snarled, spit, and fought Gaston with the fury of a two headed bull.

Yes. Kayley was mad. And she was losing.

And...she'd bet all her money on this match.

Kayley was a sinner of Greed, but very atypical. She cared little for monetary wealth insofar as the substance itself. Rolling around in gold was not Kayley's idea of a good time. No. Kayley, like her family, was a sinner of Greed because she lived by a simple mantra:

_Money equals Freedom._

Kayley valued her independence more than anything. It was a priority so enormous she sacrificed love, pleasure, and pride to keep her freedom.

Which was why Kayley frequented the Snuggly Duckling; a local bar for gamblers, sinners, and black-hearted scoundrels looking for excitement.

Or a fierce arm-wrestling match. Such as tonight:

Kayley versus Gaston. Woman versus Man. Amber-eyed-auburn-haired-damsel  _versus_ all-time-champion-self-conceited- jackass. Single round elimination. One and done. Arm wrestling to the death!

Well, not to  _the death_ , but certainly to  _humiliating defeat._

"Ehhhhhh!" Sweat stung Kayley's eyes. The urge to wipe it was agonizing but Kayley dared not release her pressure against Gaston. Her shoulder was screaming and her wrist felt ready to snap.

Gaston was laughing at her effort. Furiously Kayley scanned the bar.

_Where the Hell was Jim?_

Jim was Kayley's brother. Actually, Kayley had four brothers of which Jim was the youngest. The older three, Sinbad, Dimitri, and Flynn, formed the most successful thieving operation in West Illtyde. However, they refused to induct the two babies of the family until Jim and Kayley were literally ' _worth their weight in gold.'_

_"_ _Plus some." Sinbad had clarified._

_"_ _Plus alot." Flynn had said._

_"_ _Until you're a profit." Dimitri had added. "Not a loss."_

Kayley grunted. So much for family values. But as a sinner of Greed she understood their point. The thieving operation was an ' _everything in the pot_ ' system. Everything the thieves stole was amassed into a collective sum. The treasure trove was then divided equally between all members: Sinbad, Dimitri, Flynn, and two outsiders Vladimir Vanya Vonitsky Vasilovich (Dimitri's partner in crime), and Ruber (who Jim disliked and Kayley despised).

Kayley grit her teeth. Freedom was hard earned and very expensive; especially split seven ways. So, if she and Jim wanted to secure their freedom via membership in the "family" business, two things needed to happen:

One: Jim needed to get his sorry behind to the Snuggly Duckling.

Two: Kayley needed to win.

"COME ON!"

Sinners stomped their feet and punched the air. Coins, diamonds, and bank notes exchanged hands. Bets were placed. Fingers were crossed. And Gaston ordered a beer.

"After I win!" Gaston roared. "Drinks on the the house!"

"YEAH!"

Gaston toasted. Forearm fixed on the table, he drained his glass. Golden foam ran down his stubble as his Adam's apple jugged up and down. Kayley strained and pushed but was unable to capitalize on the moment. Gaston's arm was a steel block.

"Now!" Gaston slammed down the glass. He licked his lips at Kayley. "V for Victory! Because  _no one_  - "

Gaston shoved.

" - arm - "

Kayley twisted. Her elbow popped.

"- wrestles - "

Gaston pushed. Kayley resisted with all her strength.

"- like - "

Helplessly Kayley watched her arm rotate back.

" - GASTON!"

 _Wham_. Gaston nailed Kayley's arm. So forceful was his finish, Kayley flipped from her chair.

Cheers exploded like fireworks. The roof of the Snuggly Duckling nearly blew off as the bar broke into chants of " _Oh what a guy, like Gaston_!"

"Sinners!" Gaston kissed his biceps as a flock of bimbettes kissed him. "Drinks on the house! Courtesy - "

Gaston threw Kayley's money at the bar. "- of Kayley and the Cult of Greed!"

The crowd whooped and avalanched the bar. Sourly, Kayley watched her money splatter. It would take her a month to steal it all back.

"Well." Kayley massaged her fingers. She glared as a lusty bimbette poured wine down her bosom and offered Gaston a drink. "At least it can't get worse."

"Eh! Wrrrong again."

Kayley looked up. Three grumpy brothers looked back.

Kayley smiled. "Hi guys."

Sinbad grabbed. "Get up."

"Sinabd! Wait!" Kayley floundered as Sinbad hauled her  belt. "Sinbad!  _Sinbad_! I have another match with - "

"Excuse us!" Sinbad pushed through the crowd.

Kayley threw an elbow. It was still store from arm wrestling. "- Sinbad! I don't want to - "

"Coming through!"

"Sinbad!" Kayley spun around. "Sinbad! If you just let me fight another round I can get back the money all on my own - "

"Zip it, Feisty Pants! Gentlemen?" Sinbad turned to his brothers. He nodded at the door. "Lock and load?"

Flynn and Dimitri bumped fists. "Yup. Sorry Kayley."

"Guys!" Kayley protested as Flynn got her legs, Dimitri got her arms, and Sinbad got the door. Ignoring Gaston's laughter, she aimed a foot at Flynn's face. "Guys! Stop! This is unfair! This is - "

"- like stealing candy from a baby." Sinbad waited as they hoisted Kayley over the threshold. "But WAIT! You already know  _all_ about that! Because it's exactly what Gaston just did to you!"

Kayley kicked. "I - "

"Is Jim in there?"

"No! He - "

"Fine. Gentlemen, drop her."

"Ooof!" Kayley landed on her rump. She could still hear Gaston laughing.

"Sinbad!" Kayley stood tiptoe against her oldest brother. "Sinbad! I needed the money! The odds were good. If only Jim had been there - "

"Where the Hell is Jim anyway?"

" _I don't know_!" Kayley popped a hip. "But I would have won fair and square if Jim snuck poison into Gaston's glass like he was suppose - "

Kayley stopped. She covered her mouth.

"Oooo. The ol' drug and mug trick?" Humored, Dimitri rubbed his temple. "Kayley, Kayley, Kayley. That's the oldest prank in the book. You would have never gotten away with it."

"Well, you would know." Kayley retorted. " _You_ never have."

"Ouch." Flynn punched Dimitri's shoulder. "Girl don't lie Dimitri!"

"Ladies." Sinbad scowled. "Stop changing the subject. Kayley, what possessed you to arm wrestle a sinner of Pride? You know their confidence is like a freaking superpower!"

"Especially Gaston." Flynn said. "A guy where bullets  _literally_  bounce off his biceps."

"No one deflects bullets like Gaston." Dimitri wryly said.

Kayley crossed her arms. "I have confidence."

"Ya got zilch." Sinbad said. "Kayley, you're a sinner of Greed. And if you ever want to be an upstanding, respectable thief then you and Jim need to stop duking creeps like Gaston – "

"He killed Mother!"

Kayley pointed furiously at Sinbad. "Gaston killed her! He killed Mother!"

Sinbad inhaled. On the exhale he forced a tremor from his voice.

"We can't prove that. Kayley you know we can't prove that. And even if we could – "

Sinbad gripped the hilt of his scimitar. "—losing to Gaston isn't...isn't going to bring her back. You and Jim  _need_  to drill that into your heads. Before you both get hurt."

Sinbad straightened between Dimitri and Flynn. "Got it?"

Kayley huffed. She ' _got it'_  but she definitely didn't like it.

Their mother was a Sinner of Lust, which may have accounted for her five children.  But she was an incredible woman. Her husband, a sinner of Greed, apparently didn't like wasting money on diapers and Christmas presents because he abandoned the family when Jim was born.

Kayley had vague recollections of her father. She was a toddler when he left. But according to Flynn, Dimitri, and Sinbad, their father wore boots and smelled like cold, hard cash. Kayley snorted. _Appropriate_.

It was tragic: A single mother of five robbed of love and cheated out of everything, including her virginity. By all rights, she should have sold the kids into slavery and cried herself into an open man's arms.

But she did not. Their mother took the lemons Fate gave her and squirted citric acid right back in Fate's eye! Knowing her children were sinners of Greed, she seduced master thieves –Scrooge McDuck, Vladimir Vanya Vonitsky Vasilovich, Ruber, and Long John Silver – to teach their trade.

However, she intended not only for her children to learn, but to understand commercial thievery herself. After all, their mother was a woman of the night; a business woman of the oldest profession.

When Sinbad, her eldest, turned 16, their mother organized the thieving operation. Combing strategies learned from each master thieve, she advocated thievery off all persuasions. Thievery was an art. And her children were rapidly becoming the artists.

And like an artistic work, the masterpiece was protected. Loot was locked in a household treasure trove (it was too risky to store funds in McDuck bank. Mr. McDuck had been known to dip his feathers into client accounts). The treasure trove was guarded by a dragon named Mushu. Mushu looked more like a lizard than a dragon. However, he could breathe fire and was just as greedy as the rest of the family, which made him irreplaceable.

It was incredible. Their mother had created a thieving dynasty. She only had one rule.

_Money equals freedom._

Kayley wondered.

Freedom was essential to all of them. At first, Kayley suspected the drive came from their father – the man who ran away and never came back.

But as she grew into a young woman, Kayley's perspective changed. She suspected, and Jim agreed, that their mother craved freedom because it was the one thing she could not have. She was trapped. Trapped in poverty and forced to sell herself, and her freedom, to a man. Five times.

Kayley glanced at the Snuggly Duckling. She missed her mother. For all her worn history, her mother was an incredible woman. Although she was a sinner of Lust, she loved her children. Tenaciously.

But Fate resented their mother.

The allure of wealthy, widowed, sinner of Lust attracted men across West Illtyde. Her mother turned all suitors away. But no one persisted like Gaston. His affections quickly turned brutal, and Kayley remembered the day her mother publicly denounced Gaston and threw him from their home.

The next day, their mother was dead.

Kayley closed her eyes. Jim had found her body. He'd only been nine. Kayley had been eleven. Flynn was thirteen, Dimitri fifteen, and Sinbad eighteen, barely a man.

Five children, very much alone. Lost of a mother and in danger of losing their riches. And their freedom.

But they hadn't. Sinbad welcomed Vladimir Vanya Vonitsky Vasilovich and Ruber into the thieving operation. Flynn and Dimitri quickly earned membership (Flynn stole a magical lamp and wished for gold from the genie that popped out, and Dimitri married a girl name Anastasia that conveniently came with a lucrative dowry).

The future was bright as gold. Except for Kayley and Jim.

Kayley frowned. Her firing squad of brothers frowned back.

They were all alike, her brothers. Big bad boys with big sarcastic personalities. They even looked similar; chiseled faces with brown eyes shaded by floppy brown bangs. There were minor deviations in appearance: Sinbad's goatee, Dimitri's crooked nose, Flynn's softer cheekbones, and Jim's blue eyes. But they all shared one  _unequivocal_ commonality.

They were all Kayley's brothers. And they were all pains in the butt.

"Well." Kayley replaced hands on her hips. "There's no glory in letting Gaston walk free. Someday, I promise, Gaston will pay."

Flynn bit his lip. Dimitri reacted, but Sinbad held him back.

"You know the rules. No sentiment before lunch. Come on." Sinbad turned down the road. Copper cobblestone gleamed beneath his feet. "We better get going. McDuck wants us."

"McDuck?" Kayley ran to Sinbad. "Mr. McDuck? Mr. Scrooge McDuck? Spokesman for the Cult of Greed?"

Sinbad nodded. All cults had a spokesman – an intermediate between sinners and the Devil. "The same."

Kayley was confused. "Why? He only calls ceremonies when a sinner sells their soul to the – oh wait!"

Kayley beamed. "Is this it? Is this  _finally_  it? Are you going to let me become a devil incarnate?"

The response was simultaneous. "No."

"But you let Jim!" Kayley wined.

"Correction." Dimitri said, "Long John Silver  _let_  Jim. We didn't know Jim was a devil incarnate until McDuck sent us that congratulatory gift basket."

"Which we had to pay for." Sinbad muttered.

"But those mini muffins!" Flynn kissed his fingers. "You gotta admit those were to die for!"

Dimitri frowned. "Speaking of which, where the Hell  _is_  Jim? McDuck wants everybody at his bank."

"Everybody?" Kayley said.

"Evray-bah-day." Flynn adjusted his satchel. Something valuable clinked inside. "All sinners of Greed."

"So zip your pockets. If you don't they'll be picked.  _Unless_..." Sinbad smiled. "Unless you are an idiotic moron and lost everything arm-wrestling to Gaston."

Kayley scowled. " _Hmph_." was all she had to say as she followed her brothers to McDuck Bank.

McDuck Bank was the pride and joy of the Cult of Greed. Copper and pyrite roads lead to the bank, but the building itself resembled an iron safe.

No one but Mr. McDuck kept his money inside the bank, but that was incidental for two reasons:

One, the bank was only large enough to hold Mr. McDuck's money. Mr. Duck's total net worth was approximately one multiplujillion, nine obsquatmulatillion, six hundred twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents. It was a ballpark estimate, but everyone agreed Mr. McDuck was way too greedy and way too rich.

Two, the bank was a symbol for the Cult of Greed. It defined the landscape and served as a holy shrine to thieves everywhere. Plus, the bank was an architectural wonder and Mr. McDuck charged for personal tours.

Sinbad steered Kayley inside McDuck Bank. Kayley vaguely noticed the cornerstone inscription (' _There's always another rainbow with another lonely pot of gold_ ') before Sinbad carted her over the threshold and pointed at two men.

"Sit."

Kayley shoved. She stared at the two men: Vladimir Vanya Vonitsky Vasilovich and Ruber.

Kayley rolled her eyes. Vladimir and Ruber were members of the thieving operation. That meant she had to be polite.

"Vlad..." Kayley acknowledged the portly, older thief. Vlad smiled. He always looked happy. It was so annoying.

Stiffly Kayley addressed the second man. "Ruber." she grumbled, toying with her hair so she didn't have to look.

Ruber laughed. Kayley cringed. Ruber was a barrel chested man with savage teeth and a twitchy eye. He'd traded his soul to the Devil in exchange for a sword permanently fused to his right arm.

Kayley scowled. Ruber would saw a child in half and eat it raw. But...he had the girliest laugh.

"Kayley. Dear Kayley." Ruber twirled his sword. It rotated grotesquely inside his wrist. "How's your little arm? We heard Gaston almost broke it. Ooops."

Ruber touched his cheek. "Was that suppose to be hush hush?"

Kayley balled her fists.

"Pig." she muttered, stepping over Vlad. "Boys. I'm leaving."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Dimitri said. "Where are you going?"

"Better company." Kayley answered. Ignoring her brothers, Kayley plowed through the gathering and plopped down next to 'better company.'

Long John Silver.

"Well." Long John Silver turned. He hunched as Iago, his pet parrot, walked across his shoulders. "Tis a fine day I gets te sit beside such a pretty thief!"

"Hate to bust your bubble, Pops." Iago squawked. "It's only Kayley."

Kayley grinned.

Long John Silver was a pirate. At least, he  _was_ a pirate  _long ago_. A sinner of Greed, Silver shipped aboard the  _Jolly Roger_  with Captain Hook. Captain Hook's was a sinner of Wrath, and apparently the two pirates squabbled over pillaged treasure. Silver tried to steal all the treasure for himself and Captain Hook had a temper tantrum.

Captain Hook's temper tantrum resulted in Silver's near decapitation and right-sided amputation. However, on the brink of death Silver sold his soul to the Devil and was rebuilt into a cyborg. The right side of this body was completely mechanical and his heart was a hunk of motorized steel. Kayley sighed. It was so romantic.

Silver had retired for fear of Captain Hook's wrath, but had taken special interest in Jim and Kayley. Kayley suspected that Silver considered them an investment for his future return to piracy. She expected Silver would ask them to join his crew, and prayed it would happen soon.

After all, Kayley doubted that Sinbad, Dimitri, and Flynn would ever inducted them into thieving operation. So, piracy was the second best option.

Kayley saluted. "Hello Silver. Iago."

"Toots." Iago said.

Silver's mechanical eye revolved. "Where the Hell is Jimbo?"

"Question of the day." Kayley crossed her legs. "He was supposed to meet me at the Snuggly Duckling."

Silver grunted. "We heard. Ye lost then?"

Kayley shrugged.

Silver kneaded her arm. "Close match was it?"

Kayley brightened. "Oh very. Thanks."

"Don't mention it lass. Don't mention it. Ayyyye...."

Silver rubbed his gold earring. Jim had one exactly like it. "Would'a thought Jimbo would be back by now."

"Back by now?" Kayley said. "Back from where? Where did he go?"

Suddenly, Kayley was suspicious. "Silver! Did you send Jim somewhere? On a quest? On an adventure?  _Without me_?"

Silver shifted. "Well...I...that is to say...."

Kayley gasped.

"You did!" Accusingly, she pointed a finger. You did, you did,  _you did_! Where is he? Where the Hell is Jim?"

"Neverland, Toots!" Iago waddled down Silver's robotic arm. "Jimbo bimbo went to steal Long John's ' _share'_  of Captain Hook's treasure! Actually...."

Wickedly, Iago winked. "He went to steal all of it!"

Kayley was incredulous. She was furious.

" _Without me_?"

"Kayley!" Dimitri sliced a hand across his throat. "It's McDuck! Zip it!"

Iron doors, engraved with golden money signs, swung open. Mr. McDuck charged into the room, his webbed feet slapping the tiles beneath his spats.

Although he was a duck, Mr. Scrooge McDuck was formidable. His cane clicked the ground sharply with each stride and his glower was permanently pinched between a top hat and pince-nez spectacles. He was a brooding, elderly Scotsman with a curse for every occasion.

"Kick me kilts!" Mr. McDuck swung his cane. The gold tip flashed. "Quiet the lot o' ye!"

Kayley leaned into Silver.

"Why did you let Jim go without me?" she hissed. "How am I ever going to do great things if I'm stuck here?"

Silver batted a hand. "Sorry Lass! Twas my thinking Jimbo would bring ye along, ye being mates an' all."

"Well he didn't!"

"Snooze ya loose." Iago said.

Silver clamped Iago's beak. "Shut ya up! Both of ye! Lass, I'll have a good speakin' te Jimbo when he returns. But now tain't the time!"

Silver turned Kayley's head to Mr. McDuck. "Pay attention. There's trouble afoot, Lass. I can smell it."

Kayley crossed her arms. "Well there's certainly going to be trouble when Jim gets back. I'm going to beat his – "

"Lass!"

"Listen well lads!" Mr. McDuck aimed his cane. "All of ye! I'm only going te say this once! The Cult of Greed has been cursed! Cursed by the Devil himself! My gold, your gold,  _all our gold_ has been turned...."

Mr. McDuck flapped a purse from his frock. He unclipped the fasteners and turned it upside-down. Sand poured out.

"....to dust."

Kayley's jaw dropped. She turned to Silver. " _Dust_?"

Silver frowned. His mechanical eye narrowed. "What in the blue blazes?"

"Cursed?" Ruber's sword scraped the floor. Behind him, sinners emptied dust from boots, breast pockets, and bags. Flynn gawked at the bucket of sand in his satchel. Vlad fainted into Dimitri, who was too stunned to speak.

"Cursed? Why?" Sinbad demanded, standing aside Ruber. "What have we done? What's the Horned King got stuck up his – "

"Blast me bagpipes, Lad!" Mr. McDuck quacked. "Watch yer tongue, will ye? We're in a dilly of pickle already!"

"But why curse the Cult of Greed?" Aladdin yelled. Kayley leaned. Aladdin was a young thief, around her age. Like she and Jim, Aladdin was struggling to kick start his own career. "Why turn our gold to dust?"

"One of our kind – " Mr. McDuck scowled. "—stole something from the Horned King. A wee lass it seems. And twist me tartan, the Horned King wants her back!"

Sinbad shook his head. "You're kidding! A girl? All of this for a girl?"

"Who is she?" Governor Radcliff, a beefy coinsure of gold, called. "What is this girl worth to his Hellishess, The Horned King?"

Mr. McDuck twisted his cane. "It's a loot and crock but The Horned King tells me this girl....could be the clamshell."

"The bloody what?"

"The clamshell!"

"Clamshell?" Flynn threw his satchel. "Seafood? What is this a pregnancy craving? Tell the Horned King we'll give him a freaking lobster bake!"

"It's a title ye daffy doober!" Mr. McDuck fumed. "Ye are well aware of the Clamshell Prophecy?! The doomsday to sinners alike?! Well  _hot Scots_  it's coming to pass, and the Horned King thinks a sinner of Greed has stolen the lass that personifies the clamshell described in the daft bloody poem!"

"And!" Mr. McDuck snapped his beak. "Unless one of ye lads return the lass, then our gold will be cursed to dust!  _Forever_!"

Dimitri pushed Vlad upright. "Who's the thief?"

Mr. McDuck bristled. "No one knows! A sinner o' Greed! But if I knew, I'd burn him in tar an' feathers!"

"Who's the girl?" Sinbad said. "She a sinner? Saint? What's her name?"

"Aye, for that we know less! Except – " Mr. McDuck looked over his spectacles. " – her name is Wendy."

"So..." Ruber snarled. "...unless a sinner of Greed hands this little Wendy creature to the Horned King, our gold is damned?"

"Aye, Lad. And the deed must be done at The Crossroads. By Friday the thirteenth."

"Oh he sets a deadline, yet." Flynn raked his hair. "Terribly thoughtful."

"Who else knows about this?" Sinbad asked. "All sinners? Or just the Cult of Greed?"

Mr. McDuck rubbed his top hat. "All sinners, Lad. They're all lookin' for her. Captain Hook's even offered a handsome reward for the lass."

Kayley straightened. She nudged Silver. "Captain Hook? Reward?"

"Why?" Dimitri asked. "Why would Captain Hook want her?"

"Hook's the spokesman for the Cult of Wrath." Silver said, speaking for the first time. "Wants te be in favor with the Horned King no doubt. Never hurts. 'Specially if ye sail between the Devil and the deep blue sea."

"What's Captain Hook's reward?" Kayley pipped. "How much?"

"Enough to tickle ye tassles." said Mr. McDuck. "But I warn ye, Lads! Captain Hook's got spiders in his mouth! Tricky with words! Grab hold of the lass and Hook's reward if ye can – but  _jumpin' jigs_  get the lass te the Horned King! Save our gold!"

"Gold..." Governor Radcliff drummed his fingers. "....beautiful gold."

Mr. McDuck hammered his cane. "All clear?"

Nods.

"Righty then. Dismissed!"

The doors slammed. The meeting was adjourned.

"Kayley." Sinbad materialized between Kayley and Silver. "We're going. Come on."

"Silver – " Kayley spoke swiftly as Sinbad wrenched her away. "—I'll talk to you later – "

"Keep going!" Sinbad said as Dimitri, Flynn, Ruber, and Vlad trailed behind. "Move, move, move, move, move! Okay."

Sinbad turned. He huddled Kayley in the middle of group. "Okay, Gentlemen. Dimitri and Vlad: you two go home. Check the Treasure Trove. If McDuck isn't off his quacker, then all our gold should be turned to dust."

"Ohhhhh." Vlad pursed his lips. "Yes. I vill be sick!"

"Barf on your own time, Vlad." Sinbad said. "Good news though, we should still have our non-gold assets: furs, magical objects, animals, slaves. Everything that we can still auction at the Feast of Avarice. Ruber, Flynn...you double check the stock and take inventory. Stat!"

"Wait!" Kayley objected as the men dispersed. "Wait! Sinbad! What about me?"

"You?" Sinbad stroked his goatee. "Well Kayley. We're short a boat-load of gold. You and Jim want to join the family biz? Be thieves?"

Balloons lifted inside Kayley's chest. Eagerly she nodded. "Yes!"

Sinbad shrugged. "Well. This is your chance to prove it. Either catch the clamshell chic or get your hands on some mulla..."

Sinbad grinned. "...then babe, you're in."

Kayley squealed. She seized Sinbad in a bear hug.

"Delightful." Ruber said, a twitch running across his lips. "Two more brats to share the wealth."

"Speaking of which..." Flynn said. "Where the Hell is Jim?"

 


	7. Devil's in the Details

**Chapter 7: Devil's in the Details**

"Where the Hell are we?"

Jim turned left. He turned right. He looked up at the sky.

"Crap."

Jim hiked his shoulder. The girl jumped as he nudged her ribcage. "Hear that? We're lost."

The girl twisted, trying to return Jim's shove. She was largely unsuccessful, Jim had bound both hands behind her back, but somehow she managed to clip his chin with her knee.

"Thanks to your pirate buddies..." Jim said, dropping the girl in a pile of roots, "...we've been thrown off course. Lost my bearings, I have no idea where we are."

Jim knelt. "Hold still." he muttered, tying the girl to an enormous root. "I've got to map this place out. Just freeze for like a  _freaking_  second."

The girl did not corporate so Jim was not gentle.

"Would you just cool it?! Ow!" Gruffly, Jim hugged her legs and reached for the unfinished knot. "Just stop moving – just – ow! Geeze! Come on!"

Jim shoved. "Okay quit with the valiant effort! We don't have time! Do you  _want_  the pirates to catch up? Do you  _want_  to go back to Captain Hook? Remember what he was  _doing_  to you on that ship?"

The girl inhaled sharply. She stared at Jim as if he had slapped her. Slowly she subsided. She stopped struggling.

Jim tightened the knots. He glanced. She looked away. But Jim saw tiny, teary glints in her eyes.

"Better get used to the idea. Of torture."

Jim settled beside the girl. Cognizant that he had threatened as if he  _did not_ intend to hold her ransom, Jim quickly clarified. "I'm just going to sell you back to Captain Hook for all his treasure anyway."

Jim turned. "Clear?"

The girl glared into the forest. Her jaw was clenched but Jim could practically see the curses tingling on the tip of her tongue.

"Still not talking?"

Her eyes flashed like blue grenades.

Darkly, Jim spread his hands across the forest floor. Exposing dirt beneath prickly white moss, he started to draw. "Whatever."

Jim wasted time sketching and re-sketching lines. Alternatingly drawing and erasing images in the dirt, he pretended to be dissatisfied with each attempt. The rhythmic motion preoccupied his body, giving his brain space to think.

The girl was driving him  _insane_.

First, his shoulder was aching from carrying her. Second, every  _other_  body part was sore from where she kicked, punched, or hit him trying to escape.

Third, Captain Hook apparently wanted the girl  _very_  badly because the entire pirate armada was on Jim's tail. Since the first night raid, Jim could not sleep. He was an emotional time-bomb, hyperreacting to every sound, sight, and thought.

Finally, the girl's silent treatment was getting old.  _Really_  fast. Jim had never kidnapped without his brothers, but in every one of those instances the victim's screaming made the process a whole lot easier. There was something about a victim wailing " _Unhand me_!" or " _You will rue the day_!" that set the stage for an amazing adrenalin rush and licensure to mock the victim.

But the girl was silent. Occasionally she would make small, displeased noises but she never spoke. She just smoldered in her silence.

Jim traced a line in the dirt. It was probably just as well. Screaming would alert the pirates and probably give him a headache. The girl's silence was fortunate, but it was also unnerving. Jim wished he could crack open her thoughts. He wished more that he could stop his own.

"Okay." Jim swept the dirt. Drawing a square, he narrated aloud.

"Okay, here's a map. This square is Illtyde. If we split it – "

Jim swiped his finger down the middle, cutting the square in half.

"—then we get West Illtyde, land of sinners– "

He drew a 'W' to the left.

"—and East Illtyde, land of saints." – "

He drew an 'E' to the right.

Pausing, Jim addressed the girl. "East Illtyde. That where you're from?"

Per her usual, the girl glowered. However, she tilted interestingly as Jim added to his improvised map.

"West Illtyde is separated into cults..." Jim muttered, finger hovering over the left box. Adroitly, he modified the bottom so the line curved inward.

"The southernmost part West Illtyde is shaped like a claw." Jim balled his fist in the dirt. "The claw closes around this mark right here....Neverland."

The girl opened her mouth. Jim caught the movement and froze. Like a baited deer, Jim waited for the girl to speak. For a moment she seemed on the verge. Glued to Jim's fist, she attempted invisible words, obviously in silent debate. Then, with a defeated sigh the girl relapsed.

Jim waited a moment longer. Then he continued.

"Neverland is part of an island chain." Jim poked holes with his fingers. "And the islands belong to the Cult of Pride, in the Sea of Lust. But the Cult of Lust...."

Jim tapped the top of the map. "...is more north. Near my home, the Cult of Greed. I live right on the boarder of Greed and Lust. That's where we need to get first. I can store you in the Treasure Trove. One of the bear cages. At least 'til things cool off."

Since the comment involved her, Jim glanced at the girl. She seemed unimpressed, especially at the 'bear cage' remark.

"So, we need to get north. To the upper half. But..." Jim squiggled three fingers horizontally across the entire map, left to right. "All of Illtyde is split into north and south by this water system, the River Vein. Don't know about East Illtyde but in the west...."

Jim pointed outside of the left box.

"The River Vein in West Illtyde is fed right from the ocean, the Sea of Sloth. There are like a billion rivers, streams, and waterfalls that run through the center of West Illtyde before dumping into the schism separating the countries."

Jim pondered, fingers suspended over the map.

"We started in the Sea of Lust on Captain Hook's ship. Near Neverland. In the south. If we keep going north we eventually  _have_  to hit the River Vein. Since we haven't..."

Jim circled the bottom half of the map. "Then we are here. Somewhere between Neverland and the River Vein. Okay..."

Jim sat on his haunches. He lowered both index fingers.

"The Cult of Glutton doesn't have its own region. Glutton sinners just travel in packs, like maggots. So, there are only two cults left: Wrath and Envy."

Jim rubbed his knee, thinking.

"Envy is farthest West. On the coast. And the Cult of Wrath covers the claw shaped peninsulas and the space in-between. And the space is filled with..."

Jim touched the earth.

"...woods. Wild woods."

Jim considered. He held his jaw. Looking out, he surveyed their surroundings.

They were in a forest, and had been for days. Spidery roots and cobweb branches strangled each other. The landscape seemed confused by the difference of uphill versus downhill, resulting in a slanted, horribly unmanageable terrain.

"Great." Jim said, his answer painstakingly clear. "I think we're in the Cult of Wrath. We are too far south. We need to go north.  _Way_  north. More north than the Cult of Greed. More north than the Cult of Sloth. We need to get...."

Jim sliced a tangent line through the center of the map.

"Here." Carefully Jim drew an 'X' between the left and right halves. He tilted his head sideways. From the new angle, the 'X' looked like a cross.

"The Crossroads." Jim stared at the mark. "The only spot where West and East Illtyde meet. Where the ocean falls up to Heaven and down to Hell."

Jim wiped his hands. "That's where I'll sell you. If we make it by Friday the thirteenth Hook won't be able to kill me. I'll be protected by – whoa!"

Jim jumped. The girl had quietly crept closer during his monologue. Hands still behind her back, she gazed interestingly at the drawing. Jim was startled by her proximity, but confused when she extended a foot over the map.

"Hold it."

Jim grasped the girl's ankle.

"You're pissed, I get it." Jim held her foot aloft. "But you don't have to get hissy and ruin my map."

The girl looked highly affronted. Balancing on her hip, she tugged her foot and nodded at the map.

Jim narrowed his eyes. "What?"

Again she tugged. Again she nodded.

Jim did not release. "You want at the map?"

She nodded.

Jim squeezed. Her muscles contracted under his fingers.

"I swear to God if you mess up my map, then I'll mess you up." He dropped her ankle. "Got it?"

The girl wrenched away. With a little huff, she wriggled so her dress fell more evenly over her legs. Then, positioning over the map, she made a delicate swipe in the dirt with her slipper.

"You wanted to draw? That was it?" Scoffing, Jim jerked the girl's ropes. "Wouldn't it have been easier to, oh I don't know,  _ask_? God...."

Jim leaned over the map.

"...you are a pain in my ass. Okay. What's this?"

Jim outlined the girl's addition. She'd made a simple, horizontal line intersecting the halves. The line was placed at the top of the map, just inferior to The Crossroads.

Jim frowned. Mentally superimposing his crude sketch over atlas diagrams, Jim tried to identify the girl's landmark.

"Another path connecting West and East Illtyde?" Jim traced the dirt. "The Crossroads is the only place where the countries connect – oh. Wait. The Inn Between?"

Rotating on his ankle, Jim looked at the girl. "You drew the Inn Between? That bridge city between west and east? Okay. What about it? We're not going there if that's what you're – "

Something reflective gleamed through the trees. Jim spun, chasing the white reflection as it vanished from the corner of his eye.

A pulse hammered in Jim's throat. Reflexively, he stretched a hand to the girl.

"Did you see that?"

She did not answer. But when Jim turned, he saw she was scared.

So was he.

"Come on."

Jim untied the girl, and together they bolted through the trees. So terrified were they, Jim forgot to sling the girl over his shoulder and the girl forgot that she was supposed to give Jim a hard time.

They also forgot to erase the map, which the creature tracking them sniffed and smiled at, before padding softly in pursuit.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sultal's note:   
> Image of West and East Illtyde map is on my deviant art page at this link http://sultal-wf.deviantart.com/art/Illtyde-Map-Devil-Incarnates-Disney-Fanfiction-560219119


	8. Like a Bat Out Of Hell

**Chapter 8: Like a Bat Out Of Hell**

_Twinkle? Twinkle, jingle, ringaling?_

Peter didn't respond. He didn't move. He hadn't for days. He just lay there, frozen in the flowers.

Tinkerbell tried again.

_Twinkle? Twinkle, jingle, ringaling? Twinkle? Twinkle? TWINkle?!_

Peter opened his eyes. Tears bled from the obsidian insides.

"I'm going to kill him."

Tinkerbell darted back.  _Twinkle?_

Peter lifted. Translucent, lavender petals clung to his body as he ascended into the sky. Tinkerbell flittered and jingled at him, but Peter walked through the pixie like an arrow in flight. Expression bent in anger and chest heaving in pain, Peter flew over Neverland.

He found Captain Hook's ship. Coals burned behind his eyes.

"Hook killed Wendy. He killed my girl."

Peter's dagger rung from its sheath. Tinkerbell recoiled as Peter growled, monsters in his throat.

" _I'm going to kill him_."

Peter flew. A hole burned through the air as he descended upon the Jolly Roger. The pirates countered the attack, spraying Peter with cannon fire and setting the ocean aflame.

But Peter fought with the advantage of having nothing to lose. Hopelessness gave him the upper hand, and despair was his secret weapon. Peter hacked until his hands were black with pirate blood. Remains he threw overboard, to be swallowed by the crocodile of Glutton or nibbled by the mermaids of Lust.

The ocean filled thick with pieces of pirates. Smoke tumbled into the sky. Peter lifted his chin. Heat flowed over his face, pulling tears over his pointed ears.

"I promised." Peter stared helplessly through the carnage, almost praying that someone would answer. "I promised to keep you safe."

Tinkerbell watched smoke and fire sift over Peter. He lingered there, hanging over The Jolly Roger like a bat out of Hell.

All for Wendy.

Tinkerbell spat. She could feel her birthmark, an upright infinity knot crossed with double 'x's', burning on her lower back. Glowing red as the flames, she flicked into the night.

Tinkerbell was a pixie. Pixies are so small they can withstand only a teaspoon of emotion, which roughly equates to one emotion at one time. Since Tinkerbell was a sinner on Envy, she spent most of her time being envious. Envious for Peter Pan.

Captain Hook would disagree, but Peter Pan was a fine subject of envy. Fine indeed. His smile was irresistible, his confidence magnetic, as his elfin features bizarrely charming.

Although Neverland was also inhabited by Indians, Peter was king. Both sects were sinners of Pride, but Pride of different flavors. The Indians' Pride grew from deep-rooted ancestry, which made the tribe haughty, secluded, and aloof.

Peter's Pride was different. Peter's Pride came from one belief: he was the cleverest. Nothing scared Peter, therefore nothing got in his way.

Until he met that Wendy.

Tinkerbell's birthmark stung. Flying hard, Tinkerbell grabbed her lower back. The Envy birthmark was malicious as the vice itself. The 'x's' within the infinity knots signified evil eyes and they stung when the emotion was strong.

Tinkerbell's birthmark stung the moment Wendy arrived in Neverland, and the feeling intensified every second she remained. Tinkerbell had no idea  _where_  Peter found her,  _how_  he convinced her to stay, or  _why_  he adored the girl, but one thing  _was_  perfectly clear to the little pixie: Wendy had to go. More appropriately, Wendy had to die.

That was why Tinkerbell agreed to help Captain Hook. Regularly, Tinkerbell did not concern herself with pirates. Wrath was so exhausting, and Captain Hook wasted all of his on Peter Pan. Since Tinkerbell had claimed Peter as her own, she was obligated to distance herself from Captain Hook. Morally, Tinkerbell believed in a healthy dose of blood-shed, but still it was the principle of the thing!

However, when Captain Hook proposed luring Wendy from Peter Pan, Tinkerbell just  _had_  to oblige! After all, the pirate had asked so nicely. Moreover, the process would involve a kidnap  _and_  kill – two for the price of one! A bargain! How could she refuse?

Never was Tinkerbell so motivate by her Envy. Manipulating Wendy's imagination, Tinkerbell gathered her sister pixies into the Will o' the Wisps – a twinkling path to peril. Relying on Wendy's innocence and wonder, the pixies fashioned a twinkling trail. Stringing through Neverland like a chain of Christmas lights, Tinkerbell lead Wendy into the jaws of Captain Hook.

Tinkerbell smiled. And now – according to Peter – Wendy was dead. Oh happy day!

Almost.

Tinkerbell rubbed her stinging birthmark.

Even in death, Wendy still drew Peter's affections. It was infuriating. Peter had become so volatile, pathetically curled up in one moment and massacring pirates in the next! It was quite uncharacteristic of Peter to be so noble, especially for someone else. And Tinkerbell was green eyed as the greenest eyed monster that the ' _someone else'_  was Wendy.

So, Tinkerbell rationalized, it was her duty to warn Captain Hook. She could not justify Peter's motives. Even Captain Hook was worth saving to disgrace the memory of Wendy!

Luckily, Captain Hook was not aboard the Jolly Roger. Tinkerbell had seen him skulking amidst the hyenas of Glutton and mermaids of Lust – both parties she detested almost equally as Wendy.

 _Twinkle!_  Tinkerbell called, spotting the captain's red hat and iron hook. Thrusting back her arms, Tinkerbell dove.  _Twinkle! Twinkle! Jingle! Twink_  –

Tinkerbell staggered. Her wings hobbled uselessly as the air turned acidic. She could taste the bitterness rubbing like sandpaper across her tongue.

Wings crimping, Tinkerbell sputtered onto Captain Hook's hat. Whether or not he noticed, Captain Hook did not react. Hand on Mr. Smee's head, he stared at the intersection of sea and shore.

Tinkerbell hoisted onto Captain Hook's brim. She followed his gaze, then cowered at the sight.

It was the Horned King. The Devil.

Tinkerbell shrunk into Captain Hook's hat. She'd heard of the Horned King only in ghost stories, and everything was untrue. The Horned King was worse than anything she could imagine. It hurt to be in his presence. Tinkerbell felt raw, as if she had been pulled through a meat grinder.

However, Tinkerbell was a sinner. And like all sinners, she was engrossed. She had to watch.

The Horned King was not alone. A Black Cauldron sat within his robes. And slung over the cauldron was a little mermaid. She lay like a knight pushed through his sword. Mouth filled with red hair, the mermaid sucked for each breath as the Horned King spoke.

"Ariel, sinner of Lust."

The mermaid lifted deep blue eyes.

The Horned King extended a rotting finger.

"Human form, for your soul."

His finger touched her lip.

"Bring me the girl. And the thief is yours." The Horned King clawed his finger, drawing blood. "My Devil Incarnate."

The mermaid started to scream. Then she choked. Spine undulating, she recoiled as the Devil scalped her soul. The spiritual fabric peeled from her body, collecting into a shining scab.

The little mermaid collapsed. For a moment she saw her soul, brilliantly beautiful and familiar as her own name.

Then the Horned King clenched. And the little mermaid screamed as her soul leaked between the Devil's fists and into the Black Cauldron.

Tinkerbell grabbed her ears. She squeezed both eyes shut. It was not until Captain Hook pinched her wings did she look.

"What's this?" Tinkerbell dangling from his fingers, Captain Hook strode to the water. As Mr. Smee followed, he angled his hook. "A pretty pixie. Miss Bell. What a pleasant surprise."

Tinkerbell swatted the hook. The momentum spun her about so she faced the sea. Suddenly remembering the Horned King, Tinkerbell curled into a ball.

But the Horned King had vanished. There was no indication of his attendance, save for a sour edge to the air and the little mermaid sprawled in the sand.

Slowly, Tinkerbell unfolded. Then, she gasped.

The little mermaid was not a mermaid anymore. She was a human. Replacing the green tail where two long legs. Her scales had melted into shimmering fish nets, wrapped around her for modesty. Tinkerbell snorted: amusing, considering she was a sinner of Lust.

The little mermaid turned a cheek. She wriggled her toes. Then, painfully, she spread a foot against the sand.

"Ah!"

Captain Hook smiled.

"Is it not teasing, Miss Bell?" he said, prowling around the writhing mermaid. "When the Horned King plays his little jokes?"

The mermaid panted. Again she tried to place her feet. Again she cried out, legs jerking from the ground and into her hands.

"The Horned King loves his tricks." Captain Hook continued. Reminiscently he lifted his hook. "If in fact, he is capable of love. Regardless, the Horned King teaches his Devil Incarnates the meaning of eternal Hell, whilst we live. Whether that be an iron hook in place of a hand….or…"

Captain Hook nudged his toe beneath the little mermaid. Swiftly he wrenched, kicking her into the sea.

"...or human feet." he said as the mermaid's legs transformed back into a glimmering fish tail. "Human feet that walk on invisible knives with every step."

"Ahmen." said Mr. Smee, removing his hat.

Impassively, Captain Hook watched the little mermaid. Red strands weaving through the waves she sunk, too exhausted to swim and too devastated to try.

"Lovely. Now." Captain Hook flicked sand from his boot. Then, following a regal huff, he shook the pixie.

"Miss Bell. I believe you came for me."

An assembly line of emotions surged through Tinkerbell:  _anger, fury, rage, hate, anger, fury, rage, hate, anger, fury, rage, hate_  –

\- oh! Envy!

 _Jangle, ring, jingle!_  Tinkerbell made known her resentment of being handled less delicately than she deserved –

"—my apologies — " said Captain Hook.

\- but  _Twinkle! Twinkle! Ring! Clang! Twinkle!_

Captain Hook raised an eyebrow. "He did, did he? And all of my crew are dead?"

Mr. Smee clasped his cheeks. "No!"

Tinkerbell nodded.  _Twinkle!_

"Indeed." Captain rubbed his moustache. "And all because he believes Wendy is dead? Charming. Interesting. And terribly satirical. Considering…."

Captain Hook tossed Tinkerbell aside.

"Considering Wendy is alive." he said, brushing pixie dust from his hands.

Tinkerbell was flabbergasted.

_TAH-WIN-KA-LE?_

"Unfortunate, I agree. But true. It seems…" Captain Hook fingered his sword. "…a  _thief_  of Greed stole her in the night. The Horned King was most displeased."

Tinkerbell shook her fists.  _Twinkle!_

"Yes Miss Bell." Captain Hook wryly said. "I assumed you would be too. But fear not. The Devil wants our little Miss Wendy and will blister Illtyde until she is found. The sinners have been dispatched. I myself have offered a reward for her capture, and I would be most….pleased if I were the one to deliver her to the Horned King."

Captain Hook flexed his fingers. Hungrily he gazed at his good hand. "To feel flesh again. To grip a sword. To strangle a lovely white throat."

"But Capn!" Mr. Smee pointed to the sea. Faint ripples spread from where the mermaid had sunk. "What if the little mermaid finds the thief first? Lust is a mighty powerful force, it is! And dear me! With half our crew unto the mercy of Peter Pan, why we'll have a full plate! Can't do no hunting for the girl with these messy circumstance!"

"Smee, your diligence is nauseating." Captain Hook answered. "But scrupulous as ever. It is times as these I consider you worth the fuss."

Mr. Smee glowed. He almost considered a hug. "Thank you Capn!"

"Shut up, Smee before I run you through. Now, Miss Bell…"

Diplomatically, Captain Hook folded his hands.

"Miss Bell. I believe we have once again ventured upon mutual territory. I propose an alliance. You want Miss Wendy dead – "

Tinkerbell nodded ecstatically.

"—and I want to deliver Wendy to the Horned King, so I might have her flesh for my phantom hand. Are we in accordance?"

Again Tinkerbell nodded, albeit a second hand would assist Captain Hook's vendetta against Peter Pan. But as far as she was concerned the Devil may care. After all, envy always comes first.

 _Twinkle, twinkle, ring, ting?_  she asked.

Captain Hook eyed the fading ripples.

"Follow the little mermaid whilst I preoccupy Peter Pan." Methodically he sliced his hook like a whetting stone against his palm. "She'll lead you right to them."

Evilly Tinkerbell grinned.  _Twinkle?_

Captain Hook nodded. "Yes Miss Bell. Like a bat out of Hell."


	9. Deviled Eggs

**Chapter 9: Deviled Eggs**

" _Madam Mim's Gingerbread House. Fat Children Welcome._  Yeahhhhh..."

Jim led the girl back down the gumdrop path.

"Yeah we're not going in there. Life size gingerbread house? It's a trap for sinners of Glutton. Bet my life there's a witch inside with human-shaped bake pans. But..."

Jim yanked. The girl tripped, doubling her stride to keep up.

"But if there's a Glutton trap, then that means we must be near a Glutton Bubble. Glutton sinners disperse like bubbles through Illtyde. And if we're near a Glutton Bubble..."

Again Jim yanked the girl.

"...then that means we're near food. And I am starving. Plus we need directions."

Jim turned. By now the motion was memorized, and he shouldered the girl without complication. Of course she was mad, but she was also moving way too slow.

"So we gotta find someplace to eat. Unless..." Jim continued fluidly. "Unless you want to chance it with the witch."

The girl dug her fingers into his neck. Wincing, Jim assumed that meant no.

Happily, they  _were_  near a Glutton bubble and Jim quickly found it. Rather, he quickly  _smelled_  it.

"Mudka' Meat Hut..." Peering through the trees, Jim read the sign over a squat little diner. The sign was adorned with the Glutton insignia - a bloated infinity knot. "...home of the mug of meat. No llama policy. Great..."

Jim lowered the girl. He started to brush twigs from her hair.

"...must be some sort of restaurant. Okay. Here's the plan."

Jim licked his thumb. The girl squirmed as he smudged dirt from her nose.

"I'm hungry, you're hungry, and we need directions. But Hook could have alerted all of Illtyde by now, so we've got to play it safe. Lie low. So, after I clean you up - "

He smoothed wrinkles from her dress.

"-then we're going to waltz in there, eat, and act like nothing has happened.  _And_  I'll tell you what we're  _not_  going to do - "

Jim stood the girl up. Doffing his jacket, he wrapped it over her shoulders, hiding the ropes.

"We are not going to cry, scream, kick, call for help, or make a fuss. You've been annoying the Hell out of me with this  _silence thing_  - "

The girl looked pleased.

"-so you're going to  _stay silent_  when we get in there. There might be pirates, there might be bounty hunters I don't know. But I don't want to get caught. So, the trap - "

Jim squeezed the girl's chin. "-keep it shut. Got it?"

The girl jerked her chin away. Testily, she tried to shrug off Jim's jacket.

"Nope." Jim hiked the sleeves. "Wrong again. I'm not untying you, but we gotta hide the ropes. They'll attract too much attention. So put on the jacket - "

Jim dragged the girl from the forest and into Mudka's Meat Hut.

"-and keep your god damn mouth shut."

Glutton sinners came in two flavors, if you'll pardon the pun. Glutton sinners could resemble the hyenas: slobbering, overfed pigs that would eat until they died.

Glutton sinners also came in a second stereotype: classy. These sinners lived the royal's life in parties that never ended. They were upscale folks that liked good food, good wine, and exquisite taste.

Of the two, Mudka's Meat Hut was a rare blend. Nothing says class as much as a ' _no llama policy_ ,' but nothing kills class like a diner that serves nothing but meat.

"Welcome to Mudka's Meat Hut..." said an unenthusiastic waitress, handing out menus. "...home of the mug of meat."

The waitress clicked her pen. "What'll it be?"

Jim sat. The booths were cramped and the diner was crowded. Slobbering drunks and mysterious wayfarers glared from every corner.

Especially, Jim noticed, they examined the girl. Aside from the waitress, she was the only female. And her delicate-doe-eyed-fairy completion was not helping. She drew attention like honey attracts wasps.

Jim pointed to the opposite seat.

"Sit."

He waited for the girl to obey. When she did, he began collecting utensils from her place setting. A knife was the last thing he wanted in her hands.

"What do you recommend that's cheap?" he asked the waitress.

The waitress followed the utensils as Jim gathered them. Glancing at the girl, she continued halfheartedly.

"Chef Louis specialty of the day: les poissons and deviled eggs."

"Sounds expensive."

"Everything Chef Louis cooks is expensive." the waitress said. Apathetically she waved at the kitchens. Faint singing could be heard inside. "Chef Louis is a culinary artist - very French. His every creation is an edible masterpiece. He's a wizard in the kitchen and a memory in your mouth. He cooks experiences...not food."

Jim raised his eyebrows. The girl bit a smile. The waitress was clearly reciting a company script and did not believe a single word.

"Okay..." Jim opened the menu. "...so this chef is a sinner of pride?"

The waitress shook her head. "Wrath. If I were you and your girlfriend, I'd eat every bite."

"Not my girlfriend." Jim muttered, consulting prices before entrées. He suddenly remembered the mermaid that had escorted him from Hook's ship. "And definitely not my type. What's in the tuna croquette?"

"Saltines, eggs, and tuna."

"Baked?"

"Fried."

"Come with bread? Rolls?"

"French."

"Okay." Jim flipped over the menu. "I'll have that."

The waitress took the menu. She addressed the girl. "And you?"

"She'll have the same." Jim answered quickly before the girl could speak.

Unperturbed, the waitress collected the menus. But before exiting, she leaned towards the girl and nodded meaningfully at Jim.

" _Bless you_  dear for coming out in public."

The girl smiled gratefully. She even smothered a laugh.

Jim rolled his eyes. He thought of his sister. "Girls."

An uneasy silence followed. Awkward even. Since her kidnapping, this was the most civil interaction Jim and the girl had exchanged. Sitting quietly across a table, feigning interest in their surroundings, pretending not to notice each other, preparing to break bread.

Carefully, Jim glanced. He'd lugged the girl through darkness and dusk, but he'd never actually  _looked_  at her. At least, not long enough to analyze.

Contemplatively Jim turned a butter knife. He studied the girl.

She  _was_  pretty, that was obvious, and she looked about his age. True, her cherubim features and enormous blue eyes subtracted a few years, but she added them right back with steely, disproving glares. Her nose was dotted with caramel freckles, and her hair was the same color. She was pale, slender, and she wore a nightgown which, for the life of him, Jim could not figure out why.

But that wasn't her most distinguishing trait.

Jim's eyes flicked up. The bow. She wore a bright blue bow, just like a little kid. It wasn't big, it wasn't showy, but it was  _there_ , almost like a reminder to never grow up.

Jim frowned. At first impression, he would have pegged this girl as a saint. But a saint of what? She kicked, she punched, she glared, she reproved, she wore a flimsy nightgown for God's sake, and she was wanted by Captain Hook. All of these were indications that she was a sinner.

Jim fingered the knife. He looked down. His reflection glared back: angry eyes, shaved head, ratty bangs, grungy rat tail, sharp jaw hard as stone. He was unmistakably a sinner, it was written in his face. But the girl was harder to read.

Jim angled the knife, catching the girl's reflection. Suddenly he wondered:  _was she a sinner or a saint_?

He was about to ask when she looked up.

"Uh." Jim faltered, embarrassed to be caught staring. Coughing he reached under the table for her ropes. "Uh. Okay. Here's the plan. I'm going to find someone for directions. You wait here..."

The girl blinked. She looked alarmed. Frantically she shook her head as Jim knotted the ropes around the table leg cemented to the floor.

"What?" Jim asked. He tested the knot. "What?"

The girl opened her mouth. She shut it. Then biting her lip, she beseeched Jim with big blue eyes

Jim couldn't believe it. "Good God. Are you  _imploring_  me? Are you seriously asking me to  _stay_?"

She looked hopeful. Begrudging, but hopeful.

Cruelly, Jim laughed.

"Come on." He said, pocketing the utensils. "Big girl like you? Afraid of being left all alone in a scary two star diner?"

He tapped her cheek with the spoon. "Stay put. I'll be right back."

It was with great satisfaction that Jim departed, the girl fuming without the power to retaliate. Still, as he settled at the bar Jim couldn't help wondering why the girl had insisted he stay. And why she was afraid.

"Yer a little young for spirits, aint ya Lad?" a snake-faced sailor wheezed.

Jim hunched his shoulders. "Not here to drink."

"Too bad."

"I need directions."

"Where to?"

Jim considered. "Cult of Greed." he finally said. "Up north."

The sailor stopped, mid-swig. "Cult of Greed, eh? There's an award out for a sinner of Greed. Stole a girl."

Pointedly the sailor turned. He eyed Jim over his glass. "Got a price on his head."

Jim swallowed.  _So, Captain Hook was looking for them._

Kneading the butterflies in his stomach, Jim tried to smile. "Show me a sinner of Greed that  _doesn't_  have a price on his head."

Unexpectedly, the sailor laughed. The exertion was too much and he grasped his chest, winded. "Whats'cher name, Lad?"

"Jim."

"Sinner of Greed, then?"

"Yeah."

"From up north? Ye live right in the cult? Near McDuck Bank n all?"

"That's home."

"The ol' bloody cult." the sailor fingered his glass. "Me shipmate use to live there, before he signed up w' Capn Hook. Ol' son of a devil! Cyborg persuasion. Had a peg leg."

Jim grinned. "John Silver?"

"Aye!" the sailor thumped Jim's chest. "That's the scurvy cur! Long John himself! Ye know 'im?"

"Practically bunkmates." Jim said. "Mentor. Father figure. All that crap."

"Well. How's that fer wind in yer sails..." The sailor extended a hand. "Names Bones. Billy Bones. Sinner of Greed."

"Cool." Jim said. "You any good with directions?"

"Fer a mate of Long John? Land ho and ships ahoy."

Billy Bones withdrew a map. Jim tilted. It was a map of Illtyde.

"Ye'll want to pass through the River Vein." Billy Bones traced a nail tangentially across the map, "Head northeast. Avoid the west. There's a pack o' hyenas scavenging the Cult of Wrath."

Jim rubbed his jaw. "How long will that take?"

"On foot?"

"Yeah."

Billy Bones shook his head. "Too long. 'Specially with... _things_  the way they are. Prices on heads. Lost little girls. Greedy thieves on the loose."

Jim stiffened as Billy Bones dragged him near.

"Quarter mile past Madam Mim's..." Billy Bones dug a nail into the map. "This mark here. There's a Coachman with a coach. Free transportation. Chuck full o' sinners and scoundrels not wanting te be found."

Jim frowned. He touched the hole in the map. "The Coachman? The Coachman is a sinner of Greed. A slave traitor. What if he tries to - "

"If ye can handle The Coachman, you'll get a free ride." Billy Bones crumpled the map. "The Coachman's a businessman, not a fighter. Ye can handle him if yer tough, scrappy, and bold. But if not... the Coachman will sell ye into slavery faster than  _anchors aweigh_."

Jim chewed his cheek. "Well. It's an option. I'll think about it."

"Aye." Billy Bones said. "Ye got more things to worry about, Lad."

"What do you mean?"

"Yer mates w' a pirate. Ye should know..." Billy Bones nodded over Jim's shoulder. "...that a pretty girl is like blood in the water. And sinners of Lust...are the sharks."

Jim turned. His eyes flew to the girl like a whip.

She was still at the table. A man in golden armor was nestled close beside her.

Too close.

"Damn it!" Jim wove across the diner. Utensils clinking in his pocket he approached. He forced himself to remain calm.

"Okay, okay. Party's over." Jim stood before the intruder. "Hands off."

The man regarded Jim. Then, deciding Jim wasn't a threat, he returned to the girl. "Come on Princess..."

Half rising, the man pulled her nightdress "...let's go find a room."

"I said-" Jim blocked the aisle. The man was easily two heads taller and trimmed for battle. Heart thumping Jim watched the girl's ropes. "- _hands off_."

The man looked mildly impressed.

"Knight in shining armor. Thought that was my department."

Conversationally the man stroked the girl's hair, as if she were his pet.

"You know my name, Sonny?" he asked Jim.

"Got a few theories." Jim said, making eye contact with the girl. Guiltily, he understood her silent plea. "They all begin with  _ass_  and end in  _hole_."

The man laughed.

"The name's Phoebus: means sun god." Phoebus wobbled the girl's head. "Sinner of Lust."

"Shocker." Jim said. "Big surprise. Listen  _dufus_ , you've got three seconds to get off my girl and beat it."

"Whaaat? Only three?" Phoebus cradled the girl against his hip. "We were having so much fun. Come on prince charming: why spoil a match made in heaven?"

"Two reasons." Jim jerked his head towards the bar. "First, my pal Billy Bones over there doesn't like sun gods."

Phoebus paused. He glanced sideways. Billy Bones waved a rusty cutlass across the diner.

"And second," Jim withdrew a butter knife. "I'm a devil incarnate. I made a deal with the devil and when I die, I'm going straight to Hell."

Jim's confidence swelled as he spoke. Stepping forward, he aimed the knife at Phoebus's throat.

"Don't tempt me."

Phoebus raised a brow. His fingers curled in and out of the girl's hair. Then, with a smug smile, he kissed her bow.

"Keep practicing, princess." Phoebus said, departing with a gallant bow. Jim glared as the girl recoiled and Phoebus passed.

"Oh and Sonny Boy." Phoebus pointed under the table. "Next time, make sure the ropes aren't too tight. How else will you make a quick escape?"

Jim gripped the butter knife.

"Asshole." he muttered, trying to shrug off his panic. Angrily he spun around. "Dumb pathetic piece of - "

"-two tuna croquettes with French rolls."

Jim bumped into the waitress. "What? Oh - " swiftly he sat, cognizant of the staring customers. "Yeah. Put it down. Thanks."

"I'll bring the check." Lethargically the waitress sprinkled parsley over the croquettes. "Enjoy."

"Sure." Jim said, attacking his plate. The utensils trembled in his hands. "Whatever."

The food  _was_ good. Not an  _experience_ , but Chef Louis did know how to cook.

Jim glanced up. The girl was not eating. She simply stared into her lap.

"Hey." Jim nudged her plate. "Hey I'm paying for this."

She didn't respond. Jim rose, with the intention of force feeding. Then he noticed. She was crying. One tear, maybe two. But still, she was upset. Enough to cry.

Jim sat. Across the diner he heard Phoebus, entertaining the bar with crude remarks. The girl's lip trembled. She could hear every disgusting insult.

Jim rubbed his knee. He didn't quite know what to do. It was a strange situation, one Jim only imagined when he thought of his mother. But his mother had been a sinner of Lust. Selling her body came with the territory. And Kayley...

Sardonically, Jim huffed. He never had to worry about Kayley. Jim dared any man to take advantage of his sister; they'd probably end up neutered or in the hospital. But the girl...

Jim glared. He had no reason to feel defensive on her behalf. None. His obligations to this girl included a trip to the Crossroads and quick sell to Captain Hook.

Still, in a weird way, the girl had trusted Jim to protect her. And, in all honesty, he failed.

Jim spoke quietly.

"Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"Did he touch you?"

Pause. Then, she shook her head.

"...you okay?"

Nothing. Then, a very big sigh.

Jim watched. He waited.

"Okay." Jim pushed the bread basket to her side. "Eat."

Unsurprisingly, she did not comply.

"Look. Come on." Jim said. "You have to eat."

The girl - no longer tearful - held up her hands. Glaring, she gave two deliberate tugs on the rope. The intention was clear:  _untie me and I'll eat._

"Herrrrre we go." Jim groaned. "Miss Virtue strikes again. Look, I know you're upset. You've been kicked around by me, Captain Hook, and Mr. Sun God.  _But that's the way things are here_. This is the land of sinners.  _People_   _sin_. And I don't know what type of fairytale kingdom you've been living in, but this is the real world. People push. People shove. People steal. People take. People break promises. And people get hurt - even after working hard all  _her_  life to -"

Jim stopped. The girl narrowed her eyes, noticing Jim's slip.

"You know what?" Jim flagged the waitress. "Forget it. You don't want to eat? Fine. Check!"

The waitress brought the check. But Jim, to his horror, could not pay.

"Dust?" Stunned, Jim emptied his pockets. His money was gone. There was only dust. "I had ten gold coins. I  _know_  I did. They were right here! It's like they've been turned to - "

"Zut alors! He cannot pay? HE CANNOT PAY?!"

Jim was wrenched by the collar. Spinning, he crashed into a very angry, red faced Frenchman.

"Crap." Jim struggled. "You must be Chef Louis."

"Oui!" Chef Louis slammed Jim onto the table. His eyes burned like stove plates. "You little insect! You dare insult my honor! My masterpiece! My FOOD?!"

"Not food!" Jim choked. "An experience!"

"Toodle loo mon poisson!" Chef Louis swung a meat cleaver over his head like a ninja warrior. "Au revoir!"

_Wack!_

Jim ducked. But the blade never hit. As Chef Louis dropped his arm, the girl looped the meat cleaver with her ropes. The blade swicked between her wrists, the rope snapped, and the girl, freed from bondage, stomped on Chef Louis' toe on her way out.

"Damn it!" Jim scrambled over the wailing chef. Plowing through chairs, tables, customers, and doors he darted after the girl. "Damn it! Get back!"

"Go get her, Lad!" Billy Bones laughed as Jim sprinted away. "And God speed! God - "

Billy Bones hacked. Tongue lagging, he collapsed as Phoebus twisted a knife from his belly.

"So..." Phoebus uncrumpled Billy Bone's map. Wickedly, he retraced the marks with the sailor's blood. "Coachman... _Cult of Greed_...really?"

Phoebus grinned.

"Well..." he gazed at the swinging door. "A sinner from the Cult of Greed. With a girl that wears a bow in her hair. Sounds awfully...familiar."


	10. Sarah. Her Name is Sarah.

**Chapter 10: Sarah. Her Name is Sarah.**

Jim had to give her credit. It was a flawless escape. And the girl was faster than she looked.

"GET BACK HERE!"

Jim thundered after the girl. Branches scratched his cheeks as he blew over roots and under trees. The chased closed quickly as Jim gained distance. Pumping his arms and flying the last steps, Jim grabbed the girl's dress—

"What the – ?"

An animal darted across Jim's path. Jim skid but the animal blurred between his legs. Tripping, he whacked into a trunk.

"Damn it!" Jim kicked as the animal attacked. Fleetingly he saw golden eyes and a shaggy, grey snout before they smashed into his boot.

The animal yapped. Scrambling on all fours, Jim tore after the girl. The brush cracked behind him as animal sprinted for his heels –

Jim yelled. Heart in his ears he lunged at the girl as the animal pounced on his back. " Holy – "

The forest broke. Jim slammed into the girl as an enormous carriage crashed through the trees, nearly running her over. As the carriage screeched to a halt, Jim climbed over the girl as she tried to roll away.

"Stay still!" The animal had vanished but the girl had extracted her claws and was scratching Jim to pieces. Furiously she fought, still trying to escape.

Jim sat on the girl's chest.

"I said!" Jim ripped the bow from her hair. Nearly tipping with the strain he wound the ribbon around her wrists. "STAY STILL!"

"Jim? Jim? Jim Hawkins?"

Passengers were exiting the carriage. Some appeared more to be  _escaping_  the carriage, what with their green faces and upset stomachs, except for a young man with dark features, brilliant white teeth, and also with a girl slung over his shoulder.

The young man waved.

"Hey! Jim! Jim Hawkins!"

Jim peered. He tightened his knees, keeping the girl in place. "Aladdin?"

"Jim!" Aladdin hopped from the carriage. Girl balanced on his shoulder he wove through the passengers for Jim.

Jim finished tying the knots.

"Nice try." he told the girl. "But your ass is so pressed. Don't ever run away like that again or I'll sell you to Mr. Sun God instead of Captain Hook. Hear me?"

She answered with a lethal glare. As Jim hoisted her over his shoulder he heard a little growl.

"So long as you don't bite..." he muttered as Aladdin extended a hand. "And once again, keep your mouth shut. Aladdin! Thought you were in the cult. What'r you doing down here?"

Aladdin and Jim shook. Politely they angled so their female captives wouldn't bump legs.

"Good to see you too." Aladdin said. "And surprised. Kayley said something about you two conning Gaston at the Ugly Duckling."

Inwardly Jim grimaced. He'd forgotten about their plot to drug Gaston and win the arm wrestling match.

"Oops."

" _Oops_  is right." said Aladdin. "Kayley lost all her money. But so did the rest of the Cult, so she's no worse off right?"

Jim adjusted the girl. "What?"

"Oh yeah." Aladdin mimicked his motion. The girl on his shoulder fidgeted. "Oh yeah I forgot you weren't there. Oh man Jim it was  _bad_. See – apparently The Horned King cursed all of our gold into dust."

"Ah." Jim remembered the dust in his pocket. "Well that would've been really helpful information five minutes ago."

"What you'd get stuck with a check?"

"Yeah. Diner down that way.  _Mudka's Meat Hut_. Chef's a real psycho."

"You're always  _so_   _noble_." Aladdin jibed. "When are you going to learn that sinners of Greed don't have to pay? We're greedy! People expect that! Just tear up the check and go! C'mon Jim! You're a devil incarnate for god's sake!"

"Abiding by the rules to avoid death." Jim shrugged. "Always been my biggest flaw."

"I'll say."

"So what's the Horned King's problem? Why'd he curse our gold?"

Aladdin blew like a horse. "Tuh. I dunno. McDuck tried to explain it, but there was a lot of yelling. Jist of it though, is that a sinner of greed stole a girl from the Horned King, and the Horned King wants her back."

The girl stopped moving. Jim gripped her nightgown.

"...really?"

"Yup!" said Aladdin, "That's why I'm here! Since our gold is cursed, everybody's been scavenging for non-gold items. After all, the Feast of Avarice is in a few days – "

"-oh damn it." said Jim. "The Feast of Avarice. I forgot."

"—so we've got to get our hands on non-gold stuff to sell! You know silver, diamonds, slaves, frankincense, myrrh, and..."

Aladdin patted his victim's rump. "...Bengal tigers."

Jim almost laughed. "Bengal tigers? You're kidding."

"Nope!" Aladdin said. "Bengal tigers baby! You see, Princess Jasmine here – oh excuse me. Jasmine, this is Jim. Jim you remember Jasmine?"

Jim nodded. Sinners of the Greed commonly held prisoners for extended periods of time until a ransom was collected. Jasmine was a princess from the Cult of Pride. Her homeland, Agraba, was a desert island one-hundred fathoms south of Neverland. And though her family was extremely wealthy, they were also sinners of Pride and refused to pay ransom to a riff-raff street-rat like Aladdin. It would be sinful to stoop so low.

As a result, Princess Jasmine had been held Aladdin's captive for three years. She'd lived in the Cult of Greed for so long, she had become a native resident. Jasmine was basically best friends with Kayley, and she knew most sinners of Greed by first name.

"Yeah, I remember." Jim raised a hand. "Hey Jasmine."

"Hi Jim." Jasmine sighed. "Aladdin. Can we go,  _please_? I am so uncomfortable and you sweat like a pig. And get your filthy hand  _off_  my – "

"Where you going?" Jim asked as Aladdin snapped back his hand. "You're not bringing her to Agraba?"

Proudly Aladdin nodded. "Yup! You see, I had a thought. If Jaz's folks are too snubby to pay her ransom, then I'll just do what your brother Dimitri did! I'll ask for her hand in marriage and get the dowry instead!"

Jim raised his voice. "And how does Jasmine feel about that?"

Jasmine waved apathetically. " _C'est la vie_. Anything to get this street rat out of my hair."

"Hey!" said Aladdin. "That's not nice! Remember wifey, we're getting married!"

"Okay." Jasmine scoffed. "Sure."

"She likes me!" Aladdin winked. "And boy I can't wait to get my hands on that dowry! Jim, I'm talking silks, I'm talking spices, I'm talking ivory, I'm talking jade, I'm talking tigers.  _Big_  ones."

Aladdin spread his arms. "Like I'm talking  _huge_  Bengal tigers. Do you have any idea how much Bengal tiger fur will  _sell_?"

Jim hiked the girl against his neck. "How you getting to Agraba? Boat?"

"Yeah." said Aladdin. ."Some geezer Silver recommended. Old ship mate apparently. I think his name is Billy Baritones – "

"—Bones." corrected Jasmine

"—Bones." Aladdin said. "Billy Bones. Thanks Jaz. See, we're finishing each other's sentences already! Match made in Heaven –"

" – move your slimy hand."

"Oops. Sorry my little lotus flower."

"Oh don't make me throw up."

"I just met Bones." said Jim. "Cool guy. Gave us directions."

"Us? Oh yeah. I noticed you had...uh..." Aladdin motioned at the girl. "... _luggage_. What is it? Usual? Kidnapping? Ransom?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah. Gonna sell her back to the original thief."

"Ooo double dipping, I like it."

"You know how I roll."

"Sure do. Complicated and intricate as all Hell." Aladdin stooped. He inspected the girl. "Oh yeah. Very choice. Well done Hawkins, she's cute. From this angle. She gotta name?"

"Uh." Jim froze. He'd never considered giving the girl a name.  _Hey You_  and  _Quit Punching Me_  had worked just as effectively as a fake name.

"Uh her name..." Jim searched for a name, but his brain kept buzzing back to  _Kayley_. Jim almost said it, but caught himself.  _Kayley_  was too obvious, even Aladdin would become suspicious. Frantic, Jim blurted the only other girl's name immediately on his mind.

"S-sarah. Sarah." Jim squeezed the girl to keep from shaking. "Sarah, her name is Sarah."

"Really? Sarah? Jim, wasn't that your mo – "

"—yeah." Jim interrupted. He could feel the girl's gaze on the back of his skull. "Yeah. Whatever. Small freakin world. Her name is Sarah."

"Oh. Well it's too bad, really." said Aladdin, accepting Jim's cue to change the subject. "Because The Horned King is looking for a girl named We– "

"All aboard!" A driver called from the carriage. Turning, he motioned at Jim. "All aboard! Last call if it be your pleasure. Last call to the River Vein."

Jim studied the driver. The man was large but not beefy, more fluffy like a pillow. He had white hair, red coat, jolly pink cheeks, and waved from the driver's seat like a demented version of Santa Clause.

"Is that The Coachman?"

"Yup." Aladdin said. "That's The Coachman. Never rode his coach before but man let me tell you...scary."

"How do you mean?" asked Jim.

"I dunno, just scary." Aladdin writhed. "Like in a weird, circus, bizarre way. You're not thinking about riding to the River Vein with him are you?"

"Yeah." Jim nodded. "Why not? You did."

"True. But I rode halfway with Radcliff. We kinda stuck together, I never had to spend the night alone in the carriage. And don't forget." Aladdin pinched Jasmine's thigh. "I've got Jaz. She's feisty. You and Sarah are going to be alone in there with..."

Aladdin shuddered. "...the Sisters."

"Come on then!" The Coachman cracked a whip. "All aboard!"

"The Sisters? The Sister of Envy?" Jim spoke quickly. "Aladdin are you sure?"

Aladdin nodded. "They almost got Jaz."

"What about The Mortician? And The Huntsman? Are they – "

"Last chance!" The Coachman bellowed. The wheels wobbled as the donkeys towing the coach spurred. "You there, Boy! On or off?"

Jim was caught. His decision wrestled between the Coachman, the animal chasing them, Billy Bone's advice, and the passengers inside the coach.

"On!" he finally decided, securing his hold on girl. "On! We're coming on. Aladdin – Aladdin good luck."

"Hey, you too Jim! Next time I see ya, I'll be a married man!"

They shook. Crouching, Aladdin grinned at the girl.

"Nice meeting you, Sarah. Try not to give Jimbo a hard time, huh? He bites."

The girl glared. Sweetly, Aladdin pinched her cheek.

"That's right, be a good little victim. Jaz: say goodbye to Sarah."

"They're scum." Jasmine told the girl. They exchanged doleful looks. "Give him Hell."

"Oh which reminds me!" Aladdin called as Jim stepped foot in the carriage. He cupped a hand to his mouth. "Be careful Jim! It's not just the Sisters of Envy ya gotta worry about! There have been saints all over the place! 'Speically the River Vein! Byyyyyyye!"

The Coachman and carriage disappeared. Merrily, Aladdin trundled Princess Jasmine down the forest trail to  _Mudka's Meat Hut_  in search of Billy Bones. But they never rendezvoused with the pirate. After all, Billy Bones was dead.

However, Aladdin and his princess did meet a wonderfully helpful fellow who referred them to another pirate named Captain Jack Sparrow. It was a lifesaving tip, and Aladdin told him so. But the helpful fellow refused all compensatory offerings and denied all manner of gifts.

However, he did ask for a small token of information.

"That carriage with the Coachman that just passed. A boy and girl didn't happen to board, did they?"

"Sure did!" Aladdin pointed in the general direction of the coach. "Jim Hawkins and his kidnapee, Sarah. Went thatta way Phoebus! Or...do you prefer Mr. Sun God?"

Jasmine rolled her eyes. "There is no way I'm marrying this creep."

 


End file.
